Beauty and The Buzz
Secret #2 - How to Have a Happy Marriage by The Average Guy
Mathew Boggs and Jason Miller has written a ground breaking book called 'Project Everlasting'. The book details the marriage secrets of 'marriage masters', couples that have been married 40 or more years. The guys were recently on the Today show where they revealed the 7 secrets to a long and committed marriage.
Over the next few days, we will go over the secrets and add our thoughts and views on each secret to success.
2. Marriage is not like in the fairy tales. When you get married, you're there with your new spouse, friends and family. You truly believe that this is the greatest day of you life. In many ways it is. But, if you want it to last, then you have to realize that marriage is hard work. It is not what you see in the movies. The romantic love does not last a life time. In fact, romantic love is nothing but a fling. You can have romantic love with a number of people. It's easy love. The real love is intense and hard.
The authors interviewed the marriage masters and they provided sage advice. They said that 'Marriage is a bed of roses, thorns and all.' It is. Marriage is about understanding and seeking acceptance. Marriage is about accepting the differences that we have and truly appreciating those differences.
Let's deal with acceptance for a moment. There are people who annoy the hell of me. The things that they do can really get under my skin. However, I'm sure that I do the same for them. Oh, what could I do to drive someone crazy? How about leaving the drawers open in the bedroom? How about never closing the kitchen cabinets? How about stacking my shoes in the middle of the bedroom instead of putting them in the closet? How about leaving the toilet seat up? How about always wanting the remote control? These are the things that I know about.
Does my mate do things to drive me crazy? Absolutely. But, you have to ask yourself a couple of questions. First, is this going to matter 30 days from now? This will help you gauge how important the issue is. If it will be important in 30 days, then it may be something that you want to address. Secondly, ask yourself whether you want to be right or happy. This will also help you keep your mouth shut. It's really a question of priorities. Do you want to have a fight about the way your shirts are folded? Do you really want to have a fight about how he stacks the dishes? Doesn't a nice evening with your lover sound better?
The fact is that once you get past the romantic love you can settle into a deep and committed love. Romantic love will not keep you from straying. Deep, committed love does that. Romantic love will not keep you there through the hard times. True love will keep you there.
There is an old country song that says, 'I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden - there's going to be a little rain sometime.' It's the truth. Life is beautiful and complicated. There will be conflict and there will be reconciliation. Just remember to keep it between the lines and remember that the person you are fighting with is also the love of your life.
Mathew Boggs and Jason Miller has written a ground breaking book called 'Project Everlasting'. The book details the marriage secrets of 'marriage masters', couples that have been married 40 or more years. The guys were recently on the Today show where they revealed the 7 secrets to a long and committed marriage.
Over the next few days, we will go over the secrets and add our thoughts and views on each secret to success.
2. Marriage is not like in the fairy tales. When you get married, you're there with your new spouse, friends and family. You truly believe that this is the greatest day of you life. In many ways it is. But, if you want it to last, then you have to realize that marriage is hard work. It is not what you see in the movies. The romantic love does not last a life time. In fact, romantic love is nothing but a fling. You can have romantic love with a number of people. It's easy love. The real love is intense and hard.
The authors interviewed the marriage masters and they provided sage advice. They said that 'Marriage is a bed of roses, thorns and all.' It is. Marriage is about understanding and seeking acceptance. Marriage is about accepting the differences that we have and truly appreciating those differences.
Let's deal with acceptance for a moment. There are people who annoy the hell of me. The things that they do can really get under my skin. However, I'm sure that I do the same for them. Oh, what could I do to drive someone crazy? How about leaving the drawers open in the bedroom? How about never closing the kitchen cabinets? How about stacking my shoes in the middle of the bedroom instead of putting them in the closet? How about leaving the toilet seat up? How about always wanting the remote control? These are the things that I know about.
Does my mate do things to drive me crazy? Absolutely. But, you have to ask yourself a couple of questions. First, is this going to matter 30 days from now? This will help you gauge how important the issue is. If it will be important in 30 days, then it may be something that you want to address. Secondly, ask yourself whether you want to be right or happy. This will also help you keep your mouth shut. It's really a question of priorities. Do you want to have a fight about the way your shirts are folded? Do you really want to have a fight about how he stacks the dishes? Doesn't a nice evening with your lover sound better?
The fact is that once you get past the romantic love you can settle into a deep and committed love. Romantic love will not keep you from straying. Deep, committed love does that. Romantic love will not keep you there through the hard times. True love will keep you there.
There is an old country song that says, 'I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden - there's going to be a little rain sometime.' It's the truth. Life is beautiful and complicated. There will be conflict and there will be reconciliation. Just remember to keep it between the lines and remember that the person you are fighting with is also the love of your life.