Empower Yourself
17 Red Flags That Tell You Instantly He's Not the One For You by Kerry Gray
Whether it's a date, a mate, or just a casual friendship, these warning signs apply to both guys and girls! Check them out!
If you are involved with someone who has just one of these bad behaviors, think seriously about going further in the relationship. They might develop more as time goes by. If you are in a relationship with someone who has several of these problems, save yourself a lot of future heartache by breaking up with them now.
These warning signs can indicate a serious personality disorder or mental illness. Trying to fix these people is a road that leads to nowhere, and you can spend years and thousands of dollars trying. Cut your losses and get out if your guy or girl has these big warning signs.
1. They push for quick involvement. They demand an exclusive commitment too early in the relationship, and bring up marriage right away. They make you uncomfortable because they want too much too soon, even though you are flattered by their attention.
2. They are jealous and look for signs you are cheating. They might call frequently, drop by unannounced, and go through your things, your computer, your mail, your caller ID, and even check the mileage on your car.
3. They are controlling. They want to dictate who you see, what you wear, where you go and when you will be back. They control the money and the way the house is run. They might leave you lists of things to do.
4. They have unrealistic expectations, expecting you to meet their every need and be the perfect person in the relationship. They constantly criticize you when you do not live up to their image.
5. They isolate you, cutting you off from family and friends. They make family gatherings and nights out with friends so miserable it is easier not to go, so you stay home and slowly see your family and friends less and less.
6. They blame others for problems and mistakes. Their entire history is what their exes, family or friends did to wrong them or screw them out of what was theirs in some way.
7. They blame others for their feelings, saying "you made me angry" or "you make me sick and tired" instead of accepting responsibility for their own emotions.
8. They lie a lot. They might lie for little reason, coolly and calmly, not seem to care if they get caught, and easily change their story if they do. For whatever reason they do it, lying is not okay. If your partner does this frequently, get out.
9. They feel entitled. They believe the world, their family and friends owe them things. They think they are entitled to a great career, fancy house, new car and possessions, without working for them.
10. They are hypersensitive to criticism and overly critical of you. They blow up when you try to talk to them about a problem, but they constantly criticize you, and might say cruel and nasty things without caring about your feelings.
11. They are cruel to animals or children, or have a past history of abusive behavior. They expect children to do things beyond their skills and age group. They might expect the new puppy to be instantly potty trained. They might tell you they hit their ex because...
12. They have rigid gender roles, believing women should do all the errands, chores and housework and wait on the men, while the men go out drinking with friends.
13. They exhibit signs of aggression and force during sex or want to play rough. They want to wrestle hard, slap and tickle, physically overpower and then "accidentally" hurt their partner, often laughing when they do.
14.
They appear to have no conscience or guilt. This is something you might suspect but have no proof of. It comes from their passive reactions to doing things that cause problems and upset you. If you suspect they have no guilt or conscience, pay attention to your instincts and believe your gut feelings. Lack of guilt, remorse or shame is a predictor of a lot of trouble down the road.
15. They have a stunning disregard for and lack of concern about how their actions affect others. They will do whatever they have to, to get their way and get what they want. When faced with you being upset or tearful, they simply do not care.
16. They do not learn from mistakes, but repeat the same patterns and behavior over and over again.
17. They are addicted and getting no help. It might be drugs, alcohol, prescription pills, gambling, sports, exercising, thrill-seeking or sex, but it occupies their time and interferes with family life and relationships, finances, or might be a health risk.
If you see these warning signs in your partner or in a new date or a mate, get out, get some help, and work hard to change the effect they have on your life. They will certainly cause trouble in the future, so recognize the warning signs and act now. -- Kerry Gray
Write the Love Doctor, KerryLGray@gmail.com, for help with a problem in your life.
Send us an add on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/officialdontdatehimgirl
Send us a tweet on Twitter at OfficialDDHG.
We have a new Facebook page, coming soon, so stay tuned!
Whether it's a date, a mate, or just a casual friendship, these warning signs apply to both guys and girls! Check them out!
If you are involved with someone who has just one of these bad behaviors, think seriously about going further in the relationship. They might develop more as time goes by. If you are in a relationship with someone who has several of these problems, save yourself a lot of future heartache by breaking up with them now.
These warning signs can indicate a serious personality disorder or mental illness. Trying to fix these people is a road that leads to nowhere, and you can spend years and thousands of dollars trying. Cut your losses and get out if your guy or girl has these big warning signs.
1. They push for quick involvement. They demand an exclusive commitment too early in the relationship, and bring up marriage right away. They make you uncomfortable because they want too much too soon, even though you are flattered by their attention.
2. They are jealous and look for signs you are cheating. They might call frequently, drop by unannounced, and go through your things, your computer, your mail, your caller ID, and even check the mileage on your car.
3. They are controlling. They want to dictate who you see, what you wear, where you go and when you will be back. They control the money and the way the house is run. They might leave you lists of things to do.
4. They have unrealistic expectations, expecting you to meet their every need and be the perfect person in the relationship. They constantly criticize you when you do not live up to their image.
5. They isolate you, cutting you off from family and friends. They make family gatherings and nights out with friends so miserable it is easier not to go, so you stay home and slowly see your family and friends less and less.
6. They blame others for problems and mistakes. Their entire history is what their exes, family or friends did to wrong them or screw them out of what was theirs in some way.
7. They blame others for their feelings, saying "you made me angry" or "you make me sick and tired" instead of accepting responsibility for their own emotions.
8. They lie a lot. They might lie for little reason, coolly and calmly, not seem to care if they get caught, and easily change their story if they do. For whatever reason they do it, lying is not okay. If your partner does this frequently, get out.
9. They feel entitled. They believe the world, their family and friends owe them things. They think they are entitled to a great career, fancy house, new car and possessions, without working for them.
10. They are hypersensitive to criticism and overly critical of you. They blow up when you try to talk to them about a problem, but they constantly criticize you, and might say cruel and nasty things without caring about your feelings.
11. They are cruel to animals or children, or have a past history of abusive behavior. They expect children to do things beyond their skills and age group. They might expect the new puppy to be instantly potty trained. They might tell you they hit their ex because...
12. They have rigid gender roles, believing women should do all the errands, chores and housework and wait on the men, while the men go out drinking with friends.
13. They exhibit signs of aggression and force during sex or want to play rough. They want to wrestle hard, slap and tickle, physically overpower and then "accidentally" hurt their partner, often laughing when they do.
14.
They appear to have no conscience or guilt. This is something you might suspect but have no proof of. It comes from their passive reactions to doing things that cause problems and upset you. If you suspect they have no guilt or conscience, pay attention to your instincts and believe your gut feelings. Lack of guilt, remorse or shame is a predictor of a lot of trouble down the road.
15. They have a stunning disregard for and lack of concern about how their actions affect others. They will do whatever they have to, to get their way and get what they want. When faced with you being upset or tearful, they simply do not care.
16. They do not learn from mistakes, but repeat the same patterns and behavior over and over again.
17. They are addicted and getting no help. It might be drugs, alcohol, prescription pills, gambling, sports, exercising, thrill-seeking or sex, but it occupies their time and interferes with family life and relationships, finances, or might be a health risk.
If you see these warning signs in your partner or in a new date or a mate, get out, get some help, and work hard to change the effect they have on your life. They will certainly cause trouble in the future, so recognize the warning signs and act now. -- Kerry Gray
Write the Love Doctor, KerryLGray@gmail.com, for help with a problem in your life.
Send us an add on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/officialdontdatehimgirl
Send us a tweet on Twitter at OfficialDDHG.
We have a new Facebook page, coming soon, so stay tuned!
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