Prizes and Giveaways
How to Set Realistic Expectations in Your Relationship by The Average Guy
One of the reasons that men and women have conflicts is because of expectations. Men are raised to believe that it is okay to bed as many women as possible. Women are raised to believe that sex has meaning and that it should be reserved for the special person.
What happens is that after a few dates, a woman will decide that it is time to have sex. Guys being guys will agree. Then the expectations come in. The woman thinks that this sex act means something, namely that you're exclusive. You're officially a couple. Guys think that it was a nice romp in the hay but that since the exclusivity conversation hasn't happened, then you're not exclusive.
Nobody is wrong here. I know this upsets some people, but this just comes from who we are as people. Women expect men to just 'know things' and men don't know anything that we aren't told directly. This problem can be easily solved.
Woman should just tell men what it means to them if they sleep together. This conversation has to happen early on, like the second date. Just tell the guy that sex means something to you and exactly what it means. If it means that you are in an exclusive relationship, then say so. If it means that you're his girlfriend, then say so. If it means that you stay the night, then say so.
With guys, sexual politics is kind of like sports. We just need to know the rules and then we can decide whether we want to play the game. If we know that sex means exclusivity to you, then maybe we don't want to have sex with you. Hey, that's not all bad because it saves everybody a lot of pain and confusion.
There are also women who can have meaningless sex. Again, tell us the rules. I don't care what any guy says. He does not like a woman he is sleeping with to be sleeping with somebody else. So, after sleeping with you a few times, we will expect that we are the only guy you are sleeping with. However, fair warning to women, you need to make it explicitly clear with men that you expect us to sleep with one girl at a time.
I know that women don't like to have to tell guys the rules. You want us to want to behave in a certain way. We do want to be perfect for you when we know that you are the one. But, men and women think differently. There are industries revolving around the differences between men and women and the way we think. Accept it and don't fight it. It is the easiest way for you to get what you want.
When you tell us what you want and expect, listen carefully to how we respond. Believe what we tell you. If we say we're not ready or that we have reservations, believe us. It will keep you from getting hurt. You will not change us unless we want to change for you. So tell us what you want and expect and see what happens. The answer will be right in front of you. Just open your eyes.
One of the reasons that men and women have conflicts is because of expectations. Men are raised to believe that it is okay to bed as many women as possible. Women are raised to believe that sex has meaning and that it should be reserved for the special person.
What happens is that after a few dates, a woman will decide that it is time to have sex. Guys being guys will agree. Then the expectations come in. The woman thinks that this sex act means something, namely that you're exclusive. You're officially a couple. Guys think that it was a nice romp in the hay but that since the exclusivity conversation hasn't happened, then you're not exclusive.
Nobody is wrong here. I know this upsets some people, but this just comes from who we are as people. Women expect men to just 'know things' and men don't know anything that we aren't told directly. This problem can be easily solved.
Woman should just tell men what it means to them if they sleep together. This conversation has to happen early on, like the second date. Just tell the guy that sex means something to you and exactly what it means. If it means that you are in an exclusive relationship, then say so. If it means that you're his girlfriend, then say so. If it means that you stay the night, then say so.
With guys, sexual politics is kind of like sports. We just need to know the rules and then we can decide whether we want to play the game. If we know that sex means exclusivity to you, then maybe we don't want to have sex with you. Hey, that's not all bad because it saves everybody a lot of pain and confusion.
There are also women who can have meaningless sex. Again, tell us the rules. I don't care what any guy says. He does not like a woman he is sleeping with to be sleeping with somebody else. So, after sleeping with you a few times, we will expect that we are the only guy you are sleeping with. However, fair warning to women, you need to make it explicitly clear with men that you expect us to sleep with one girl at a time.
I know that women don't like to have to tell guys the rules. You want us to want to behave in a certain way. We do want to be perfect for you when we know that you are the one. But, men and women think differently. There are industries revolving around the differences between men and women and the way we think. Accept it and don't fight it. It is the easiest way for you to get what you want.
When you tell us what you want and expect, listen carefully to how we respond. Believe what we tell you. If we say we're not ready or that we have reservations, believe us. It will keep you from getting hurt. You will not change us unless we want to change for you. So tell us what you want and expect and see what happens. The answer will be right in front of you. Just open your eyes.
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