Wedded Bliss
One in Four Couples Sleep in Separate Beds. Are You One of Them? by Kerry Gray
Sleep researchers say that one in four couples sleep in separate beds, which probably also means sleeping in a different room. Are you one of them?
Not sleeping with your partner for a short period of time probably will not affect your relationship, but letting it become permanent can definitely lead to trouble.
The number one reason couples give for not sleeping together is having a new baby or young children who move into their bed at night. The second most common reason given is that they simply get better sleep alone. If this is happening to you, take charge of the situation and do what you can to change it before it becomes a habit.
When you do the housework, make your bedroom a priority by cleaning it first instead of last. If you clean the rest of the house first it is too easy to let the bedroom go. Remember, you spend one third of your time in the bedroom. It should be your refuge and your sanctuary. Make it as beautiful and peaceful as you can. Spend money on high quality linens for the bed. Do not underestimate the power of high thread count sheets and a fluffy down comforter to make you love your bed. Keep clutter out of the bedroom. Take out trash, bills, and dirty clothes and make the bedroom your peace on earth.
Next, share the special bedroom you have created with your partner. Make it a priority to spend more time together in the bed. Talking, reading, watching TV, and just sharing the day can lead to you drifting off to sleep together. This will help you get back in the habit of spending the night in the same bed. If relationship problems are keeping you in separate beds then address those issues with problem solving or counseling. Make it your goal to spend more nights together again, like you used to. Sometimes sleeping apart can cover up other problems, so do not let those problems go on for too long. Sleeping apart can become a habit that is hard to break.
New babies and sick children do take priority, but when they are well try to give them good sleep habits by making their own rooms and beds a great place to be at bedtime! When the children are growing up, make sure they understand that the bedroom is your place and they are not to enter it without permission. Do not let them bring their toys, books, clothes, or bottles in the room to mess up your special place. Do not let them dictate your time together with your partner once it is time for bed. Children who have parents with healthy relationships and good boundaries grow up to have better relationships themselves. Set a good example for your kids by making bedtime a quality time for yourself.
If you and your partner find yourself spending more and more nights in separate beds, do what you can to change it and get back to the way it used to be. The hectic days of jobs, kids, errands and chores can make us all want to fall in bed alone, exhausted. If you sleep alone, though, you take away one of your main sources of strength, the energy you get from sleeping with a partner you love. There was a time when all you wanted to do was spend every moment together, remember? You can bring back those feelings by making the bedroom your special place and making it a priority to spend some nights together in the same bed.
-- Kerry Gray, kerrylgray@gmail.com
Sleep researchers say that one in four couples sleep in separate beds, which probably also means sleeping in a different room. Are you one of them?
Not sleeping with your partner for a short period of time probably will not affect your relationship, but letting it become permanent can definitely lead to trouble.
The number one reason couples give for not sleeping together is having a new baby or young children who move into their bed at night. The second most common reason given is that they simply get better sleep alone. If this is happening to you, take charge of the situation and do what you can to change it before it becomes a habit.
When you do the housework, make your bedroom a priority by cleaning it first instead of last. If you clean the rest of the house first it is too easy to let the bedroom go. Remember, you spend one third of your time in the bedroom. It should be your refuge and your sanctuary. Make it as beautiful and peaceful as you can. Spend money on high quality linens for the bed. Do not underestimate the power of high thread count sheets and a fluffy down comforter to make you love your bed. Keep clutter out of the bedroom. Take out trash, bills, and dirty clothes and make the bedroom your peace on earth.
Next, share the special bedroom you have created with your partner. Make it a priority to spend more time together in the bed. Talking, reading, watching TV, and just sharing the day can lead to you drifting off to sleep together. This will help you get back in the habit of spending the night in the same bed. If relationship problems are keeping you in separate beds then address those issues with problem solving or counseling. Make it your goal to spend more nights together again, like you used to. Sometimes sleeping apart can cover up other problems, so do not let those problems go on for too long. Sleeping apart can become a habit that is hard to break.
New babies and sick children do take priority, but when they are well try to give them good sleep habits by making their own rooms and beds a great place to be at bedtime! When the children are growing up, make sure they understand that the bedroom is your place and they are not to enter it without permission. Do not let them bring their toys, books, clothes, or bottles in the room to mess up your special place. Do not let them dictate your time together with your partner once it is time for bed. Children who have parents with healthy relationships and good boundaries grow up to have better relationships themselves. Set a good example for your kids by making bedtime a quality time for yourself.
If you and your partner find yourself spending more and more nights in separate beds, do what you can to change it and get back to the way it used to be. The hectic days of jobs, kids, errands and chores can make us all want to fall in bed alone, exhausted. If you sleep alone, though, you take away one of your main sources of strength, the energy you get from sleeping with a partner you love. There was a time when all you wanted to do was spend every moment together, remember? You can bring back those feelings by making the bedroom your special place and making it a priority to spend some nights together in the same bed.
-- Kerry Gray, kerrylgray@gmail.com
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