2 yrs nd nothing

[betty_b]

Sweetie,

You're looking elsewhere because he is not meeting your needs - not just sexually. You deserve a man who loves to be with you and spend time with you, who will see your kids as one of your greatest assests, and will love and RESPECT you just the way you are. That kind of man won't deny you, or make you feel bad about yourself. Don't ever settle. The only reason to share in a relatinship wth someone is because they make your life a happier place to be - not doubt yourself and feel neglected.

Hang in there!!

[square813]

he admitted he has a prob. but wont get fixed. but its not only that its the emotional/communication theres just about none sure we talk every night but its like hes programmed. heck were like friends with partial benefits

[2baffled2]

I know what it is like to love someone that sucks the life out of you. Do you really want to spend your days "fixing" someone, forgoing happiness? It hurts to break free from the relationship - it feels nice to be needed, wanted. Do you really think he can make you happy in the long run?

[t32147]

Dear Square813,
After reading your post, I am hoping you can answer these questions. You didn't say how you know this man, has he ever been married before? Is your relationship one that may have been rushed by other outside means such as friends pushing you two to become a couple or members of the church constantly suggesting that the two of you would make the cutest couple? I ask this because many times, couples end up together only because they want to please everyone. This is an impossible concept. You mentioned being a widow, did your boyfriend know your deceased husband? I can clearly tell that this is a very serious matter for you and although you may love him very much, everyone has the right to feel that same love in return. Do you two share open signs of affection in private? How about in public? In front of your kids? How do your kids receive this relationship? I know these questions seem to go on and on but these can all be mitigating factors. I myself am in one of those relationships that I question daily. I also have a "friendship" with very few benefits that seem to come fewer and fewer in between anymore. Where we once slept so close together that I could hardly breathe due to his arms around me, now we need a cell phone to talk across the bed at night, not really but you get the idea. Chances are your situation will not get any better, as I know mine won't either. It's only a matter of time before you and I will have to break it down into Barney Language for our
"partners" that don't....we need a partner that will !!!!!! Keep your hopes up, DO NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR....you will only be cheating yourself really. Don't sell yourself short. Hope it helps for you to know you are not alone.

[square813]

im sorry for not giving more detail but here we go. i met him through my hubs brother. yes he was married been divorced for 15yrs she cheated and left. i feel we were pushed some. hes known my hubs brother for almost 10 yrs. no there is no affection ( no hand holding, arms around the waist when we walk ). my kids like him. but even my daughter who is 17 told me that i need to get out of this relationship and hope that he understands and is willing to remain friends. and like i said before i would like to just go out and get a fix but thats not me. i dont do casual sex or one night stands. i got a daughter 17 and 2 boys 16&12 so how i am will reflect on them. i hope this gives my posts more clarity let me know

[Foundthebestman]

[square813]

thanks foundthebestman. i am having a hard time trying to tell him this our work schedules right now are opp. and i dont think it would be right to tell him on the phone but it seems like i have no choice but too. and yes i sometimes feel he wants to say it to me and is afraid of hurting me. but your right it is tiring. and to the critics no im not making excuses walk in my shoes and youll see. the fact is im busy but hes more so and thats the main of it we dont have time for each other.

[t32147]

Dear square813.
In spite of everyones good intended advise, when all the dust settles, it is you who must make your decision and live by it. My heart truly goes out to you because I can tell that no matter which path you choose, you are going to be miserable for awhile. If I were in your shoes, I would probably be the first to suggest to him that perhaps you are not the woman he needs, that although your relationship together seems strong, you feel as though something is just missing and it's just not fair to either of you to continue to live a lie. Allow both of you to move on and explore other possibilities in life and love because your friendship deserves that. Neither of you would ever want to hold the other back from true happiness. At a different time perhaps you may reconnect but if not it's obvious you weren't meant to be together in that way to begin with. Sometimes all a partner needs is some alone time to realize what they had. I wish you the very best, and keep the faith that sometimes we women are just better off alone than with someone that isn't capable of returning our love. Write back when you can. T.

[square813]

thank you T. and thanks to all my other buddies for the advice. for the path we take is never easy the road never smooth and for everything we pick up or pass along is always of our own choice. thanks everyone.