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square813
Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 246
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 Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 5:33 pm Post subject: 2 yrs nd nothing |
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| i have been dating boyfriend for 2 yrs and we havent had sex. he is in his 40s nd im in the 30s. he says theres a problem but he wont fix it. how do i know their really is a problem or is he using it elseware. hes italian and religous and im not sure how to address him without embaressing both of us |
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rosebuttons
Joined: 04 Sep 2007
Posts: 145
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| Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:30 pm Post subject: |
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| After 2 years I think that you should be addressing this problem with your boyfriend. He is being selfish. It is not fair to you that he is not taking care of this problem. There is medication he can take or he should be seeing a doctor to find out if anything else is going on. You need to talk to him about this. What makes you think he may be getting it somewhere else? Is he spending a lot of time with you? |
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square813
Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 246
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| Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:42 pm Post subject: -- |
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| we only see each other on saturdays i spend the night then he takes me home. |
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rosebuttons
Joined: 04 Sep 2007
Posts: 145
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| Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 6:36 pm Post subject: |
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| Is this the type of relationship you are happy in? Only to see the man for 1 night and not even have sex for 2 years. It must be very loney. I think you should move on and find someone who really wants to be with you. |
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square813
Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 246
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| Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 6:55 pm Post subject: - |
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| we have outer coarse i thought i could deal with it. but its not only that i cant read him. he gives nothing away. lately ive been feeling like a showpiece. |
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rosebuttons
Joined: 04 Sep 2007
Posts: 145
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| Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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| It's up to you, you have to decide if you want to stay in this emotionless, sexless relationship. This is how it is always going to be. You need to rebuild your self respect and move on to find someone who will give you what you need. |
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square813
Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 246
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| Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:38 pm Post subject: -- |
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| the bad thing rosebuttons is i dont want to hurt his feelings cause i know in his past relationships hes been hurt or burned and he is a good guy and i guess i can say a great friend and yes i know i have to take care of me first but lol right now hormones are taking over my ability to thing clearly. i wish there was an easier way. |
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rosebuttons
Joined: 04 Sep 2007
Posts: 145
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| Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:52 pm Post subject: |
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| YOU need to take care of yourself. He is not thinking about you at all. Dont worry about hurting him trust me he will move on. Dont let him make you feel bad. I really think you should get some counseling. |
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square813
Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 246
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| Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:15 pm Post subject: - |
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| i feel guilty or bad because im actually thinking about having a fling on the side. ive never had this kind of dilemma in my life. im a strong independent widowed mother of 3 and im only 37. isnt this why men say they cheat if they dont get it at home they go elsewhere. if i do this does it make me any different from them |
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rosebuttons
Joined: 04 Sep 2007
Posts: 145
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| Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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| No it doesnt make you any different from them. It's a cop out. If you are unsatisfied in your relationship then you should do the right thing and move on first. If you cant even comunicate with the man that your with there is a problem. You will only feel worse if you cheat. Move on and stop making excuses already. I gave you all the advise I could give at this point the rest is up to you...... |
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square813
Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 246
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 5:20 pm Post subject: - |
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| thanks rose i do really understand what your saying. im one of the people who can give great advice but wont listen to myself. but yes i have to say it is time to move on its not in my nature to fool around i had it done to me and i didnt like the feeling so why do it to someone else. |
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aprildiamond
Joined: 05 Nov 2007
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 6:07 pm Post subject: |
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| I was seeing a guy and he never even tried to do anything sexual. He was very religious and I respected his morals or so I thought until he mistakenly sent me and email that was meant for his male lover. I say move on girl there's a man hiding in his closet. |
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LaManDa
Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Sat Feb 16, 2008 9:09 pm Post subject: |
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This is a noggin scratcher. Two things come to mind...he's gay. Or he's got a serious virging/whore complex. Either way, things don't look good. If he's super religious, then he should've been talking marriage. It seems to me that those who save themselves for marriage get married QUICK!  |
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square813
Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 246
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| Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 3:52 pm Post subject: thanks |
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| i want to say thanks to you ladies for the advice and keep it coming so others have a clue if their in same situation |
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courtneyiscool
Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 161
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| Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 7:14 pm Post subject: Hi square813! Something is definitely up with your guy. |
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I hate to say it, but something's not right. I mean, I would say since he's over 40, he might have a little bit of trouble in the bedroom due to sexual dysfunction, but there are products on the market for that. I really think he's hiding something and you've got to be the one to find out what it is. I don't think you'll be embarrassing yourself because a loving couple should be able to talk about anything, even the tough stuff like this.
Good luck, girl! You may end up having to break up with this guy, though.  |
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