A timeless aggravation - why do guys not call?

[raven_lady]

This has got to be right up there on the list of women's peeves. Why do guys not call when they say they will? Why even ask for the number if you don't call?

When it comes to guys who've asked for my number but never called, is it because it's an ego boost for them? That they want to see if they can get my digits? Keep in mind these guys approached, accosted me and really layed on the flattery so it would make sense if they were after sex, but they never called. One guy I even told about this, and he said if he asks for a number and says he will call he will do so, but yet he never did. What a flake.

Then, of course, there are the guys I've been intimate with. I know that with many of them when they said "I'll call you" it means nothing, it's just a parting phrase, not to be taken literally necessarily, an easy way to ease themself away. But what really steams me is when I called these guys and told them if they wanted nothing more to do with me just let me know (cause I hate hanging in the wind waiting for their call even though I suspect they won't call - I would've like to HEAR it from them) yet they still acted as if they would keep in touch.

Why is that? Are guys such cowards to say what they mean and mean what they say? And/or are they also afraid of potential tears and drama and anger if they were to just tell the woman they aren't interested in her any longer?

This roils me. I almost feel like never giving out my number ever again Or else only give out my email addy from now on - somehow for me it would be much less disappointing not to get a message instead of waiting for a call that never comes.

[gingersnapd]

Guys have probably been doing this since the invention of the telephone. It's happened to me a lot. Although I've also had guys call within a few hours just to make sure I gave them the right number.

One thing that happened to me a while ago: I was out with friends and fell into conversation with a guy who was sharing a table with us. He didn't ask for my number, but the next day I got a call at work from him....I had mentioned where I worked during our conversation, and he took the time, and had the guts, to look up the number and call me. I was impressed!

Try this next time.....if a guy asks for your number, say, "I don't give out my number, but I AM listed. So if you want to, you'll be able to find me." That really weeds out the guys who are just collecting numbers.

[raven_lady]

Unfortunately, telling guys to look up me up won't work because I'm not listed. I'm also in the British Isles sometimes on top of that. I only really rely on my mobile phone for calls. I don't really think just giving out an email addy would 'work' now that I think about it as I think a lot of guys would think it's dodgy, like I'm married or have a bf or something and am sneaking around and they might stay away. Guess I'll just have to give out my number and (try) not to get annoyed if and when they don't call.

[Notyourgirnow]

Here's a thought, you seem to very vocal on here with your advice. Now try and take some from someone who's older than you, was a counselor and is now in the medical field to boot:

STOP SLEEPING WITH MEN YOU BARELY KNOW and don't have a committed, mutually monogamous relationship with!

This will end the heartache, confusion, worry over pregnancy, worry over STDS, worry over DYING from AIDS or Hepatitis! This will also get you a QUALITY guy that will stay with you. You attract what you are. Therefore, if you are wishy washy, you will attract wishy washy men. If you have low self esteem, you will attract guys with the same thing. If you are free with your sexual "favors" that's the kind of guy that will meet you, use you, then dump you!

How hard can it be to use common sense girls???