Bullied At Work? Workplace Violence.

[Djonna]

The growing epidemic of workplace violence.... abuse out of the home and in to our workplace.... BULLIED AT WORK....

Have you ever been bullied at work? Ever worked with someone that took joy in humiliating you; embarrassing you; calling you names; making fun of your mistakes; toying with your work.... Then, you begin to wonder, "What ta hell is going on here?"...."Aren't we adults here?" Workplace Violence.... The bully has come off the playground and is now in our work place. The attacks against you appear "petty" in nature; they are childish or most are. But, over a period of several years, nope! It's not petty anymore. You begin to doubt yourself; you can't sleep at night; you wake with cold sweats; you're in counseling; on medication and no one, but no one sees the bully as the problem. You work hard; are an example of everything the bully wants to be. You're at work every day; the one thing that the bully wants is control and control over you. You say nothing; that adds fuel for the bully. The boss neglects to listen and when you convince her/him to listen, they don't even make you feel like you matter.

My story.... 9 years of a bully coworker; a bully boss and now my battle begins to end this nightmare.... through the legal system, with the hopes there will be a victory, I stand tall and firm on my feet, but they don't know that I'm dying inside.... A mindless token in a bully's game.... I have no existence to her; she walks pass or charges in to me without notice. I have no value....

The horrifying affects of being bullied at work. I'm not sure what I feel right now. Everything spirals out of control; my emotions; my relationships.... I shuffle things around, but never really get anything done. I can't concentrate; I can't focus.... Yes, I do think.... I'm dying inside. Part of me wants to me strong; yet, the tender gentle side of me that struggles with "me".... the flame burns slight.... I guess that means there's still hope.

[square813]

yes ive been bullied i tried to be nice about it because yes were adults and i grew up fighting thought i past all that guess i wasnt. so to make it short im a better bully now were like family

[JaneGoodall]

I've worked with a number of bullies. I end up leaving those jobs, but I understand not everyone can or even should. In my case those in charge of the bully were oblivious and useless to me as advocates.

Gaslighting and all the other things you listed are abusive and can sometimes be difficult to prove. I would suggest you start keeping records of everything this person has done and how it has directly affected your ability to do your job. Dates, times, witnessess or accomplises (sp?) as well. I'd try to leave out things that are non-tangible as the defense attorney will likely attack those as circumstantial. The judge will be able to tell this has distressed you if you mention it once and cite your counselor as an expert witness who can attest to the emotional strain.

I congratulate you on not backing down. I assume this is a job you would otherwise love or at least value enough as a career move to stay with it in spite of the bullying. It takes a lot of guts to stand up to this kind of thing.

I suspect this person is either very threatened by your skill in you job and/or has some kind of emotional background of abuse that makes her/him think this kind of behavior is normal. Either way, it isn't acceptable and it needs to stop. Again, Kudos to you!

[JaneGoodall]

Adding to this for clarity:

By non-tangible I mean emotional "hurt my feelings" is not going to make you sound credible on the stand. Ask your lawyer and counselor how best to phrase the effects. Maybe something like" "afraid to go to work" or "inability to concentrate on projects I was otherwise enthusiastic about as a direct outcome of this abuse".

[Lap_Dancer]

I've worked with many bullies; some were to your bullies, some were behind your back undermining what you were doing, and others took great joy in seeing how far they could go to subjigate you in front of other people. It all sucks.

I transferred locations, one was a lateral move, two were promotions. In all three of these cases, the bullies didn't last and within three years were gone.

My advice? Keep a journal at home with names, dates and comments. Include who was there and what was said. I did this in one instance to help vent some of my anguish but it turned out when I was called on the carpet and told my boss "I'll get back to you on this tomorrow" I scanned my journal and found to the counter, supporting evidence I go link to work documents. *We all get overwhelmed in the midst of perceived personal attacks* and if we act as our own caretakers when we are thinking clearly, we can reference it.

[smiles1232]

i got bullied on few of my jobs, not becoz i like to make enemies, is becoz of their jealousy. i usually ignore them, but seems like the more i keep silent, the more i get bullied on. and guess what. all of the bullies are WOMEN

i' ve never encountered a male bully at work. in high school may be, but never at work.

the last job i had, those bully women, some of them are MOMS, for god sake, like to pick on gals who are younger. manipulate them, blame thing when i did nothing wrong. picking a fight when it's not even their business. start a civil war inside the company, pick fights with each others.

but i've never seen a guy did any of the above. only women did.. how strange?

when talking about control freak, i think woman are the top of the list. especially women on management level. when things turn back, they bully their subordinate just keep their mental health stable... i feel sorry for them to sit in a position that they can't deal their job flawlessly.

but picking on someone who's young and had nothing to do with her own stupid mistakes. it's just wrong. and hell, i quit my last job becoz of those kind of mentally ill human being.

besides , u can't work under these kind of person. they always abuse u just becoz u work for them... hello...the last time i checked, u weren't the one PAY MY SALARY. the company does.