Cannot Get Details to Post~ Don't Date Derek Harrison (33)

[The_Talk]

Derek from Camp Springs/Roxboro, North Carolina. He to me is a very confident man. He’s a short man about 5’6” and it’s rare to meet a confident short man, so I was immediately attracted to him. He also has this huge round bald head..I love huge round bald heads..Love em’!!!!
He and I had spent considerable amounts of time getting to know one another over the phone. He would call me several times a day if only for a minute and I appreciated that. His work schedule is very flexible; he would brag that he’s able to do what he wants at any given time, due to his job flexibility.
As soon as we had the first chance to make love, we did. I’m a watcher! My ex fiancé of 9years taught me to enjoy sex while gazing into one another’s eyes to appreciate the passion. I’m so used to doing that now that if a man isn’t gazing in my eyes, I feel a disconnection, but I’ve learned to understand that everyone cannot focus with their eyes open..lol So I watch!!! While watching, I realized that he was really enjoying himself; he would have smirks and looks of pleasure and satisfaction, as he even called out my name about three times, passionately. Whoa..I said because I was on my back..i didn’t go down on him nor did I ride him, so I figured whenever I did, he would probably blow a gasket. I didn’t orgasm but my satisfaction was watching him celebrating me. Now the brother sweats more than any other man I’ve ever slept with and well, that’s another story…
He collapsed in my arms and we showered. He then jumps out of the shower, dresses, and checks his cell phone. He proudly announced, “17missed calls!” He calls back to the office and urgently had to leave, as he was the only one who could rectify the problem, I guessed.
The next time I heard from him was the next day. He text me…”Good Morning, sweets” that was okay, but days of this text thing went on. He’s schedule is so flexible but suddenly he had become too busy to call and say “good morning” to me. How do I deal with this? I didn’t know how to deal with and I began to act out of character. One: I was going through the stress of recently being laid off and Two: I would not believe this man would try to play me as a one night stand or booty call.
See, I was last in a 9yr relationship where my ex fiancé treated me like a Hope Diamond= royalty. I cannot cook now because he spoiled me!!! He treated me that way and I treated him the same. All while he was mentally abusive by instilling in me that I wouldn’t make it on my own and no man would ever treat me the way he does…meanwhile, he had a separate life behind my back which lead to the breakup. I proved I could make it on my own until I just now lost my job and the economy says there are no good jobs available and Derek proved to me that men will treat me like a whore and or just ignore me.
Back to the story~ I explained to Derek that I felt his text msgs without calls or conversations of further visits were degrading. I told him that If I’m a booty call or one night stand to not call at all, as it would be less degrading then only receiving text from him, which was probably sent to multiple females at once..you know what I mean!!! So impersonal!!
He said that he likes me and want to still get to know me, but still just text.. and he doesn’t even respond to me when I text him..what is that?
Ladies, I’ve never been treated this way, but I’m putting the word out there about this brother. I found myself chasing and almost begging him to call me just so I did not have to experience feeling like someone used whore. I lost myself in trying to maintain my “good image” and that didn’t happen. I just have to deal with the guilt of being used or not wanted and move on. Be careful with this guy to those who meet him online…he will tell you whatever for his own selfish means…. Don’t know what they are. He’s a church boy but don’t let that sidetrack you because he’s a dog and has D-Dawg tattooed on his arm for reassurance.
Am I wrong to feel this way or just give me some insight.? What do you think?

[raven_lady]

Hi there,
You said you spend considerable amounts of time getting to know this guy over the phone but how long did you know this man? Because, unfortunately, as I've learned many men when they get the "prize" (sex) too soon they don't have any reason more to stick around and/or treat you with respect if they're not emotionally bonded to you. I'm of the opinion now of making a guy wait if I want anything long term - guys who just want sex chances are won't have the patience to bide their time.

You feel as if you bonded with this guy but that's how A LOT of guys are, they'll do and say and act however they think you want to get you in bed. Like one guy said about that "tell them (women) what they want to hear". Last fall a guy I went to bed (I have an announcement on this board hoping to hear from others about him) with (after knowing him for little over a week) was so chivalrous and wonderful and attentive before we did it, he courted me, spent so much of his free time with me, even told me "I could eat you for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the rest of my life" (what a big fat lie that turned out to be). But after we had sex he was cool and indifferent and am unable to get in contact with him, last I spoke with him several months ago he too was too busy like your man (funny how he wasn't too busy for me before we had sex the bloody bastard) Needless to say it took an emotional toll. I haven't been with anyone since and am going to be very careful now about any man.

I don't think you're irrational in what you feel or have done, I felt the same way, I felt used, knowing in the end the guy just wanted me for sex despite his beautiful words and actions previously,just a conquest. I also went through quite a means to maintain contact with him. The infuriating thing is that so many guys are cowards and will leave you hanging in the wind instead of just coming clean and letting you know for sure they no longer want anything to do with you. I'd rather hear something like "It's been nice but I don't think it's going to go anywhere" than to be strung along. But like the saying goes "watch not what a man says but what he does". The fact that he, and any man, acts like that shows they just wanted sex. If they are into you as a person, their previous attentive behavior wouldn't disappear so fast post-sex.

[The_Talk]

I really gave up on the idea of saving my image. I've had some time to think it over and I do not think that Derek Harrison is worth a woman like me anyway. He's not man enough NOR would he be able to and know how to really satisfy my sexual needs!!!
Perhaps, he has some unexplainable emotional issues going on or just cannot fully get over his ex love...Non the less, he need to be man enough to handle his business and NOT play on other women feelings for his own selfish emotional gain. Communication is KEY, and if he was seeing anyone else or missing anyone at the time, he should have told me that when I asked him. Allow it to be my decision to sleep with him under those conditions….I would have accepted the outcome better.
He knew that within days prior, i was laid off at work and became pretty ill with a terrible case of sinusitis....I was stressed and could not sleep. I think that he had taken advantage of my weakness and simply played me. That's cool because it will come back to him and he'll get it all back in the end!!!!! He's an insensitive, inconsiderate little boy. I'm amazed, but not surprised by his actions... Go to Hell Derek Harrison and I hope you get molding balls for being a womanizer!!!!![color=blue][/color]