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Unsure414
Joined: 26 Feb 2008
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 2:06 am Post subject: Help |
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| I have been married for almost two years and lately we havent been having sex. Ithink if we do have sex it's once a month but if I count this month we havent had sex at all. I don't want to think the worst but I'm starting to believe he's sexing someone else. I mean we work different schedules and only really get to spend time together on the weekend and even then we dont spend time together let alone get intimate.I'm starting to have thoughts of cheating but trying so hard to stay true to my vows. I just don't know what to do or think so,eone please help me I'm feeling hopeless... |
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tantric
Joined: 24 Feb 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 3:24 am Post subject: holy |
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honey im sorry but if even for a sec you had those cheating thoughts in ur mind then hes cheating i dont care what anyone says no man will ever not have sex for a month and u can tell by the way he acts towards you i just hope u r smart enough to leave  |
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mtomar
Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:08 pm Post subject: Talk to him |
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| Just cause you guys are not having sex doesnt mean anything. Most times in life, things have a simple explanation. Its just that our minds are tuned to expect the worst. Bring it up, ask him whats wrong. It could simply be that he is too stressed, or maybe you guys need to try something new. But please, dont do something that will jeopordize what you have untill you at least give him a chance to explain/do something about it. |
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square813
Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 246
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 4:48 pm Post subject: ... |
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| i know how you feel but i agree dont cheat ask him. you may or may not like his answer but dont lower yourself to sneaking around |
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juswan2003
Joined: 12 Mar 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Wed Mar 12, 2008 1:48 pm Post subject: SEX |
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I agree with mtomar. Just because you aren't haven't sex regularly doesn't necessarily means he's cheating on you, as realistic as it may appear. I say this from experience. I'd dated someone for 7 years. The first year we had sex about 3 times daily. After, the first year sex slowed to a minimum of 1 to 3 times a week. Halfway through the relationship it started to only occur at least once a week.
Believe me after the first year, I started to seek answers as I'm a very sexual person. It was as simple as he'd gained weight and he himself didn't feel sexy or attractive, he was stressed, his medication also played a part in effecting his "manhood", also he worked twelve hour shifts and being exhausted from physical work all contributed to his lack of "enthusiasm".
So, you see---it wasn't completely me and I believed him. I had no reason at all to believe he committed infidelity especially since we shared one car and I dropped and picked him up from work and there were many times where we worked at the same company.
Although we ultimately decided to split up we remain best friends to this day and also share in raising our son. Why just last week his doctor had taken him off a medication and he said that he was experiencing "stiff moments" regularly. 
So, unless you know for certain in your heart he is cheating, give him a chance. Express your concerns with him and see if there is something new or different you both can do to liven up as well as increase your encounters.  |
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Kitten4
Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Posts: 5
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:51 pm Post subject: Re: Help |
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| Unsure414 wrote: | | I have been married for almost two years and lately we havent been having sex. Ithink if we do have sex it's once a month but if I count this month we havent had sex at all. I don't want to think the worst but I'm starting to believe he's sexing someone else. I mean we work different schedules and only really get to spend time together on the weekend and even then we dont spend time together let alone get intimate.I'm starting to have thoughts of cheating but trying so hard to stay true to my vows. I just don't know what to do or think so,eone please help me I'm feeling hopeless... |
Here are some clues:
He'll look to the left if he's lying. If he looks to the right, he is gathering information from his memory.
He'll cover his mouth with his hand, or brush his lips. This is a subconcious thing that people do when they lie to try and "cover up the lie." most people don't even realize that they do this.
His kiss is different. If a man has been kissing someone else, he is in tune to THEIR kiss, as in...the way THEY like to be kissed. Not you.
If he has just had sex, or if he is thinking about sex, his left pinky toe will be pink or red. Don't ask me why.
Notice the way he is around other women, if he cocks his head to the side while looking at her, he is attracted to her.
He gets defensive when you ask him about cheating, accuses you, or changes the subject and starts a fight. Putting the attention on something you did months or even years ago that pissed him off.
Trust your womens intuition. We have been blessed with the ability to get "gut feelings" about things, and most of the time...we're right.
Hell...if you feel like cheating, I won't tell you not to. Have the two of you thought of swinging? Or bringing toys into the bedroom? There are a number of things that will spice up your marriage if you have the creativity, just be sure to always be honest with yourself, and put YOURSELF first. |
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DJ_MI
Joined: 16 Apr 2008
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 7:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Before you do anything wrong.... TALK TO HIM ! don't be afraid to say that you have your pants on fire! |
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catscalw
Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 109
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:44 pm Post subject: Re: holy |
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| tantric wrote: | | honey im sorry but if even for a sec you had those cheating thoughts in ur mind then hes cheating i dont care what anyone says no man will ever not have sex for a month and u can tell by the way he acts towards you i just hope u r smart enough to leave |
Sorry Tantric,
You are flat wrong. Men will go for a month, a year, without cheating.
I'm speaking from personal experience, as my wife and I have had issues with our sexuality since we got together ten years ago. I have never cheated: the love that I have for her makes it worth it. She is far, far more than just an outlet for my sexuality, and there is more to me than a blind and self-indulgent need to hop in the sack with another woman.I wouldn't do that to her, myself, or another woman.
Do you always advise people to leave thier marriages, without any inkling of who they are and what the consequnces might be? |
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catscalw
Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 109
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:56 pm Post subject: Re: Help |
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| Unsure414 wrote: | | I have been married for almost two years and lately we havent been having sex. Ithink if we do have sex it's once a month but if I count this month we havent had sex at all. I don't want to think the worst but I'm starting to believe he's sexing someone else. I mean we work different schedules and only really get to spend time together on the weekend and even then we dont spend time together let alone get intimate.I'm starting to have thoughts of cheating but trying so hard to stay true to my vows. I just don't know what to do or think so,eone please help me I'm feeling hopeless... |
Little Sister,
Listen to the women here, when they say to talk to him. That is always a part of the solution, when feelings are concerned. If you are feeling hopeless, there are many things you can do: get professional help, for one. A good counseler can help find old hurts, and effect changes for both of you, that are seemingly unrelated to your sexuality.
For us Men, especially, we put so much of our identity and self-worth in the countainer of our sexuality...it's all mixed up and confusing in there for most of us. When we come up against the growing edges of our comfort zones, it ALWAYS feels uncomfortable. You might be in a great position to help each other reach the next level of intimacy with each other. Remember, sometimes stuff has to fall apart before you can move forward together.
I won't tell what to do, either. I can tell you that i've been on the receiving end of that kind of betrayal of trust, and my marriage didn't survive. Don't be hopeless, Little Sister. There is so much help out there. |
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shellyk71
Joined: 17 Jun 2008
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 5:02 am Post subject: ok wow |
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| I've married for 6 years and let me tell you i've been on both ends of too much sex to no sex. I went from having sex 5 times a day to nothing. And it wasn't because he was cheating. Men work they are tired, they are just as moody as we are. The frequency of sex will change over the years constantly. And are you taking the stand? With some men they don't want little hints, like a gaze or burshing some part of your body against them. They want you to walk in the room with some fishnet ready to get down and dirty. =) cheating isn't the answer and more than likely he isn't cheating. That and sex is not everything. Just because you are not having sex doesn't mean your relationship is in trouble. And just do what i do when all else fails..give him head. Guys don't turn down head. |
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darksupanova
Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Posts: 11
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| Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:11 am Post subject: I have a suggestian |
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Asking people to give you an answer is not going to help your situation...I think you have 2 choices...1 is to confront him and if you aren't satisfied with his explanation hire a private investigator and let them uncover the truth.  |
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