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gingersnapd
Joined: 08 May 2007
Posts: 33
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 Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 3:19 am Post subject: Hey, Average Guy? Enlighten me, please..... |
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| In browsing the profiles of some of the men posted here, I see a pretty common theme: the guy who's dating a bunch of women, but telling each girl she's the only one. The point of dating is to be seeing more than one person, so why wouldn't guys just be honest about that? What are they afraid of? It seems like this tactic just backfires on a guy, once the women figure it out, and they ALWAYS do, so he ends up being a sickening little story on Don'tDateHimGirl. I'm wondering what reasons a man would have for trying to pull this off, especially since it just makes women angry. |
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courtneyiscool
Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 221
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 3:13 pm Post subject: I'd like to know the answer to this one myself! It seems |
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guys will always try to get away with dating more than one woman at once, but trying to hide it. Just be honest and tell us what you're doing so we can act accordingly. I'm not going to invest a lot of time in a guy who's dating other women but at least I can know that up front if the guy would be honest!
Just my two cents! |
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barbiegirl8833
Joined: 24 Aug 2009
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Also if dating means you can date more than one person at once, instead of getting angry at the guy for doing it, go out and do it yourself, see what the hype is all about. After all until you've stated to a guy that you're exclusive, who's to tell you, you can't be? |
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gingersnapd
Joined: 08 May 2007
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 5:20 pm Post subject: That's the point. |
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| The definition of DATING is going out with someone without the exclusivity. There's no reason to get angry about that. I'm referring to the guys who are telling women that they aren't seeing anyone else, when in fact they are. Women have a right to get angry about that, since they are being lied to. One theory I have is that guys like having someone in the fall-back position, and they want to make sure she will be there just in case...if she is out dating other guys, there's a good chance she'll meet someone else she likes better and won't be around for him anymore. And what better way to keep that from happening than by letting her think she is in an exclusive relationship? I do want to hear from Average Guy on this.... |
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barbiegirl8833
Joined: 24 Aug 2009
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu Aug 27, 2009 6:28 pm Post subject: |
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| When you put it that way, it makes much more sense. The guy is leading the girl on. When it would be much better if he was being honest from the start. I hope you get your answer from The Average Guy. |
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AskAverageGuy
Joined: 12 Sep 2009
Posts: 10
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gingersnapd
Joined: 08 May 2007
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 5:20 pm Post subject: Thanks, Average Guy, for your reply... |
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| ...I find it amusing that a guy would try to justify lying about that by telling himself that it's because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. What a prince! Her feelings ARE going to be hurt when she finally finds out. I guess the difference is, is that until that fateful day, he can get whatever he wants from her, which is probably a lot if she thinks they're exclusive. So rather than be honest up front and possibly lose any benefits, he'll keep up the charade as long as possible. A guy who does that doesn't give a tinker's damn about her feelings....it's just better for him if the hurt feelings come later rather than sooner. |
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Guitarista
Joined: 15 Aug 2008
Posts: 121
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| Posted: Sun Sep 13, 2009 8:47 pm Post subject: I would find it amusing, too, if... |
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..it weren't so sad.
Sad that men, or "guys", are so often THAT stupid that they'd believe their own bullshit to this extent.
Well said, gingersnapd. |
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raven_lady
Joined: 03 Apr 2009
Posts: 53
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| Posted: Mon Sep 14, 2009 2:56 am Post subject: |
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The answer is simple and has been mentioned here already: If the guy were to tell the women straight off the bat that she's just one of a number of women he's sleeping with/dating, he would have to worry about her either cutting bait or else not getting involved with him in the first place. Also too, they like having women waiting in the wings just 'in case', the keeping their options open thing. So unless a woman is into just casual dating or a 'relationship' that may probably be a dead end, don't piss your time and yourself away with such men - because when a man is crazy about a woman he won't risk losing her.
As for the women getting angry when she finds out, I don't think a lot of guys really care about that so long as they get and are getting what they want out of her. Because what is the consequence, really? They're not going to get sued or anything for leading her on, and although the woman might turn into a psycho chick I don't think that's really commonplace. They just will get the usual anger and tears and drama at the most and they're okay with that because they got what they wanted. It's the woman in these all too common cases who are left to deal with the emotional aftermath. |
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