Hopefully the Average Guy can help me with this one.

[genafur8]

Here's my predicament. Ive been dating a guy for a little over a year and what bugs me is that he still talks about his ex and her son on almost a daily basis. He hasnt talked to her or her son in the last three years but goes onto their myspace pages and is finding out new things about her and her son even though my bf doesnt want her to find out anything new about him. Shes made a porn movie and gone back to stripping along with other things.

During their four year relationship, he became extremely close to her son more of a father figure. Long story short, she lied, used him and cheated. Their break up devastated him. Hes gone to counseling, bought books, and talked to friends and family to get through the break up. I think what really bothers him the most is that when he hears whats shes been doing lately, its not the person he fell in love with and he wonders who she really was during their relationship. His counselor said she was a cameleon, she changes with whomever shes with at the time.

Hes told me not to worry because if he really wanted to talk to her he could. Ive asked him if he really misses her or having that family structure and he said the latter. He said thats what he feels is missing.

Its been three years and he cant go a week without talking about her or her son. He said hes getting better with not thinking about her and tells me not to worry because he doesn't want anything to do with her. We've had plenty of talks about his past with her and he always thanks me for just listening and he appreciates it. Am I wasting my time because hes not over her? Should I be concerned? I wonder how much he actually thinks of her and of me, does he compare me to her? If he misses that family structure and because I dont have kids is that a turn off ( I can have kids, were just not ready.)

Oh and does a nine year age difference matter? Hes 35 Im 26.

-Confused