how are girls to know?

natalija12 · Joined: 26 Mar 2008 Posts: 1

im 18 and i havent had a serious realtionship before. i know im still young but i dont generally meet alot of guys anyway. im interested in older guys, who are a bit more mature then the guys my age are. i havent had sex before and when i do meet guys i feel obligated to have sex with them or fool around with them if i hook up with them.
i hooked up with a guy the other night at a house party. he ended up staying in my bed. we couldnt do much because i had my monthlies (thank god) because i didnt WANT to do anything. all i wanted to do was kiss him, and sleep. i used to fool around with guys a bit when i was about 15 and im over that kinda stuff now.
how are girls to know when a guy really likes you or just wants to sleep with you?

rosebuttons · Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 145

If a guy really likes you he will want to wait to sleep with you. He will respect you and never put you in a position where you feel uncomfortable. I hope that helps. good luck

catscalw · Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Posts: 154

ASK HIM!-
and be very clear about your boundries with him...let me say that again: tell him directly that you don't want to have sex. Rose is right, if a man is attracted to you for the right reasons, he will respect your wishes, and let that part of your relationship unfold naturally, in it's own time ( Besides, just kissing is a pratice that is vastly overlooked by my gender) There is a deliciousness to the keen, and enthralling anticipation of deeper connection that just kissing somehow magically inspires.

I don't know about other men, but for me, my sexuality is like a giant hand shoving me forward: one of the most powerful drives that moves me...
It really helps me to not get so easily frustrated when my wife tells me up front that she is in the mood some thing more than a cuddle. The art of communicating your wants and needs in a respectfull, loving way, is the art of long term relationship. Clear communication without the loss of spontaneity( making it sound like your ordering a part for your vacume cleaner is a mood-killer, and can make him feel kind of relagated to a lower status )

Value his needs in your communication as well as your own: " I know that you are very turned on right now, and I love that I'm so attractive to you" or " I know it's been a few weeks, and I can see that you're feeling a strong need"

*AND*

whatever your needs are at that time. Hearing that my wife acknowledges me and value my sexuality first always helps me to not feel that I'm being rejected, and that she also values that part of me which drives me relentlessly.

I'm probably just a big baby, and other men may have different experiences, but even after ten years of being together, it is easy for me to hear that I, and my sexuality, are being rejected when that kind of communication is less than skillfully handled.

shellyk71 · Joined: 17 Jun 2008 Posts: 4

Ok first of all ALL GUYS WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ANYTHING THEY CAN PUT THEIR PENIS IN. And I mean that with all my heart. If you are willing to give it up they will take it. So stick with waiting. If he loves you he'll wait for you I know it sounds cliche but hey. And don't ever feel you HAVE to have sex with someone. You are NOT there for their entertainment.

j pierre · Joined: 14 Jun 2008 Posts: 30

i dont see a big deal.

if you want to have sex ONLY in a serious relationship then ask the guy straightaway or tell him what you expect of this relationship.
tell him that you will only have SEX with him if its a serious long term relationship.

2 things will hapen then.
(1) if he was only interested in fucking you (which is nothing wrong if someone is only physcially attracted to you) then if he is a sensible guy he will tell you that he is sorry and he cant continue the relationship bcos he never intended it to be serious.

(2) if he loves you then he will agree and this way you will know that the relationship has now become officially and you can have sex too.

i dont know what people wait for?? why dont they talk about it at the earliest moment. why wait for some clues or something.

shellyk71 · Joined: 17 Jun 2008 Posts: 4

Or the guy could tell her yeah he loves her, screw her and then leave her like most men do. It's good to wait for several reason...let's put aside the moral issues here and think practically.

You ask a guy if he's 'clean' and been tested...he tells you yes. The problem is you've known this guy for what an hour maybe...it's irreasponsible. You don't know anything about this guy, does he have an STD? Is he married? Is he some psyco killer that going to strangle me and send my finger to my mother? You don't know these things. You can't know these things...which is why the safe bet is to wait. If you want sex THAT bad go get a B.O.B and have at it. Sex is not the end all beat all. You don't NEED it, so why put yourself at risk? that makes so sense at all. That is why SO many women get pregnant and have abortions or end up with AIDS or some other STD they will live with for the rest of their lives...they didn't stop and think it through. They thought with their emotions and not their head. Use your head.

MissPrissy7 · Joined: 02 May 2008 Posts: 31

Wow there are a lot of teens on these grown up boards nowadays…. (It’s a damn shame lol) I’m joking your at least 18 & I work with kids so I know how advanced some are to topics like this BUT I agree with most replies and advise you to candidly speak with the guy (when you meet one you really like and trust) about how they feel about you. They should know you are a virgin and hopefully you will meet a guy who respects you enough to not take it there with you unless he really likes you.

Loosing your virginity is a big step especially you held on to yours at 18! I commend you for that and I want to encourage you to WAIT until some1 special comes along who is truly worth it. Good Luck

darksupanova · Joined: 15 Nov 2007 Posts: 11

yeah if a guy really likes you he will be willing to wait ...If he isnt interested in waiting then you should move on to the next one. Everybody has one special person out there for them...even though that sounds cliche its true.

square813 · Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 246

i agree missprissy i got 3 kids. daughter is 17 and 2 boys 16 & 12. with my daughter boys are constantly trying to " get with her " and my oldest boy girls are throwing theirselves at him. with my girl she turns them down and she does it nicely she says she dont want the drama that all her friends go through and my son well hes sick of it they been doing this since he was 12. now im no prude but does no one care about their reputation. in a couple of yrs he/she wont remember who they screwed in june but people will remember who the whores/sluts were

catscalw · Joined: 15 Mar 2008 Posts: 154

Sean09 · Joined: 04 Jul 2008 Posts: 3

Well... it is true that men are driven by sex. I think that most guys feel like they need it every day. So I'd suggest to the original poster that you keep that in the back of your head when evaluating the man. He's wrestling with that urge, and when he's in his teens, it can be very very strong. But I'd say don't give in if you have any doubts. If you are honest with him and then he remains loyal to you (and doesn't find some other girl) then you're all set. But watch out for liars!