How Do You Really Know He Loves You?

mz_shamika · Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 1

I was married for four years, and with my husband for a total of 11 years. I did a lot of things to cause him heartache, but it I believed in "for better or for worse". Well, I found pictures he had taken with his cell phone of him and another woman in our bed, having sex. IMAGINE the heartache I felt. I went through a severe depression, and a lot of self destruction. With all that being said, I decided it was best if I moved back to my hometown, just to get away from everything.

After the divorce went through, I didn't expect to love anyone again, let alone, meet someone who truly made me happy.

I guess I'm wondering, how do you know when a man loves you? Me and my new beau have been dating for 10-months, now. I have told him I loved him, and he didn't shy away from me saying it. However, he say's that he cares about me...a lot. I'm not offended by this, because a real woman can admit to a man when she loves him, and be strong enough to realize he may not feel the same way about her...ever. But, everyone arounds us believes he does love me, and that it is hard for him to admit it because of the pain he has gone through in past relationships. Once I moved into my own apartment, he spends almost every night with me. He cooks, he runs my bath water, and gives me massages without having to be asked. I think I saw a glimpse of this hidden love he has when he surprised me at my job on Valentines Day with a dozen roses, a card that I had to read over and over because it was so openly honest about how he has never felt so strongly about someone, and how he thinks of me all the time, everyday. And that was what the actual card said, not his handwriting. You know the cards by Halmark...the one that seems to say EXACTLY what you need and want? And, he also had a bottle of Pinot Noir with the flowers and card. I know this may not seem like a lot, but because he is a cop, he actually had to work on VDay and I didn't expect to see him at all.

I feel like I'm rambling, but I'm sure there is someone out there who has been in the dating game longer than I have that can tell me...why is it hard for a man to say I love you? As a woman, you know when a man cares about you, and you know when a man loves you. What is so hard about admitting it?

A man that cares about you doesn't want to spend every day with you. A man that cares about you doesn't want to come to your place, and sleep next to you when he gets off from a long shift of arresting people, and putting his life in danger every day. A man that LOVES you does all of this.

What do you think ladies?

square813 · Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 246

it sounds like this man definitely has it bad. good luck hope it works for you

rosebuttons · Joined: 04 Sep 2007 Posts: 145

Actions always speak volumes over words...That said it sounds as though this man really cares and loves you. dont lose faith in him. he will come around when he is ready. good luck

square813 · Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 246

hi mz shamika i sent you a message im curious to know the answer. can you get back to me. thanks

courtneyiscool · Joined: 26 Mar 2007 Posts: 162

sure you check out his history well. But from what you've written here this guy sounds really great and you should pursue things with him, slowly, of course! Laughing

square813 · Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 246

ok mz shamika i sent you a PM. thank you for the response

popsiepussycat · Joined: 19 Aug 2006 Posts: 13

His past is not your problem

If he has a problem expressing his love for you, maybe he should go and get it sorted out... Otherwise it will snowball out of control and everything he does and says or doesnt say will be blamed on because of whatever

I am sorry, but this is just another piss poor excuse to treat people like a piece of shit, what have you ever done to him for him to not be able to say to you if he loves you? Nothing!!!! Precisely... Nothing... so why does he take his past out on you?

I was with someone on and off for 10 years, he was a complete and utter piece of shit, but yes, I can understand why he acted the way he did, whenever I saw him with his parents... BUT THAT DOES NOT GIVE HIM THE RIGHT TO TREAT OTHERS LIKE SHIT, JUST BECAUSE HIS PARENTS DID.... He is meant to care for you

The choice is yours....

Either put up with it and continue making excuses for him and end up feeling shit or leave... end of.

Harsh but true!!!

YOu need to be true to yourself and you know you are worth more than that!

It is HIS PROBLEM, but IT IS YOUR CHOICE TO STAY!