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Bluebeast19
Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 2
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 Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 4:04 pm Post subject: |
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| oh and with the porn thing...just a personal opinion of course. But women view guys who spend their time masterbating to porn as a slap in the face and they start to wonder why the heck they should even be in the relationship. It doesn't make us feel special as a woman. Im young but even i understand this concept. Women are very emotional and sometimes men react and do things unaware of how it affects us...perfectly normal but i know men who do it and it doesn't bother me. But im not dating them just a personal choice. Relationships with some men who look at porn all the time don't really work out with me. Also in my opinion, it's very demeaning to women when u are dating a guy who looks at porn. But you should also make your opinions known before u start a relationship and talk to him about it. If it bothers you then don't stay with him. Don't waste his time and ur time. Some men will change for you but thats hard if they are addicted to it or don't really wanna change. I learned the hard way - love DOESN'T change people. They have to WANT to change. |
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Gudmstreatdwoman
Joined: 24 Dec 2007
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:28 am Post subject: |
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I can see both side of this matter. Personally, I thought that women should wait until THEY feel it is ok... However, some women do make the mistake of thinking sex will keep a man. A man can get pu**y from anyone, it doesn't make a difference. He doesn't fall in love with your pu**y, he falls in love with YOU. So if any woman is out there playing the pu**y game... You're only playing yourself. Now, on the other side, I'm kind of weird. I have a "problem" with porn. I may end up watching it more than my man does. A man I'm with looking at porn doesn't bother me or make me feel worthless. I understand men are very visual creatures. I'm not saying they can't help it, I'm just saying... it's kind of like how some women really love shopping, or massages, or beautifying things. It's kind of soothing, I guess. I've made a guy wait for 7 months before, but not on purpose. I thought it just "wasn't happening", it had nothing to do with me thinking, "Ok, I'm not putting out for this guy for 7 months". It just DIDN'T happen for 7 months. Of course, once it did, I quickly found out why he hadn't been pressuring me about it; he had someone(s) else(s). That hurt, because I'd learned to like him just for him and not for his sex. I thought maybe he'd learned the same, but, hey; I was wrong. In my most recent case, however, I wish I had waited. This guy asked me to marry him (and I accepted, with the condition that we be engaged at least a yr to be sure we wanted to do this). I also let him know from jump that if we were to be married, I wanted to "do it the right way" in God's eyes. I had made the mistake of giving myself to men in the past and only got hurt for it. I wanted this time to be special and meaningful. He agreed at 1st, but of course we set ourselves up for failure by spending the night w/each other. We ended up having sex after only a wk of engagement, and long-story-short, we broke up. Or, more accurately, he broke up with me (for religious reasons, no less!). He claimed he didn't like who I chose to do my Bible studies with (Ha! What a joke). 2 weeks after breaking up, I (foolishly) had sex with him again... then another 2 times. Guess what? I sure wish I'd let him go, because the 3rd time was a charm. I now have Herpes from that bastard. I can never again be comfortable in a relationship with anyone. I will always fear spreading this virus. What's worse? He had unprotected sex with me KNOWING he'd contracted the virus. Imagine my pain and anger at myself. So, in conclusion: THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH WAITING!!!!! Hell, at least you can't catch a disease from it!  I wish I'd stuck to my guns... I wrote a topic about the guy, on this site, too. Search for it. "Beware of Travis Tyson, Starke, Fla/Lanham, MD. Thanks for reading. |
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queue1114
Joined: 09 Feb 2009
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 9:48 pm Post subject: |
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I see what the uproar is about. If a girl can hold off and make me wait 6 months, then it tells me she's not that into me. If the girl is not burning passionately for me, I can assure you that (at least for me), it's a huge turn off, and IF I was to wait it out (and that's a huge IF), I would probably be so turned off by that time, that things wouldn't work out so well anyway.
Now, I don't necessarily say she has to have sex on the first date, but if by the 5th date, she is still cool about having sex, then I know she isn't that into me, regardless of what she might say. Just as many women say, action speaks louder than words. |
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queue1114
Joined: 09 Feb 2009
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2009 9:55 pm Post subject: Re: Right, because it's just IMPOSSIBLE for a guy to keep it |
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| courtneyiscool wrote: | his pants for 6 months while he's dating a girl? How about you try masturbation instead of whores like you're post says. You're obviously a guy that no woman would want to be with. I think it's more than appropriate for a woman to wait 6 months to sleep with a guy or else she might run into a guy like you who wants to make sure he gets into her panties before then, right?
Oh please! That's the problem. Guys can't keep it in their pants! |
Masturbation is not the problem here - for me anyway. For me, what the problem is, is that if a woman can keep away from me for 6 months, then it tells me (loud and clear) that she is not turned on by me - no matter what she might SAY to the contrary. As many women themselves say: "Action speaks louder than words". |
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raven_lady
Joined: 03 Apr 2009
Posts: 53
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| Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:36 am Post subject: |
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| queue1114 wrote: | I see what the uproar is about. If a girl can hold off and make me wait 6 months, then it tells me she's not that into me. If the girl is not burning passionately for me, I can assure you that (at least for me), it's a huge turn off, and IF I was to wait it out (and that's a huge IF), I would probably be so turned off by that time, that things wouldn't work out so well anyway.
Now, I don't necessarily say she has to have sex on the first date, but if by the 5th date, she is still cool about having sex, then I know she isn't that into me, regardless of what she might say. Just as many women say, action speaks louder than words. |
5th date is still too soon, it's easy enough I think for most guys to wait and still do the hit and run. But 6 months is too long. I think about 3 months would be about right. A woman who is interested in anything lasting needs to determine if the guy is into her as a person and will stick around, and when she has sex too soon there's really no reason for the guy to stay any longer since he got what he wanted UNLESS he's emotionally bonded to her.
The last guy I slept with was 7 months ago, he did the good ol' f**k and dump the bloody bastard. He told me he "could eat me for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the rest of his life", that he was "not like that" when I expressed concern he might turn out to be like the other guys, generally making it seem he was solid stuff and he was good and very sincere at it I must say, the con man! Haven't heard from him in months and am unable to get in contact with him.
I am letting guys wait from now on to determine their TRUE intentions. If a guy doesn't think I'm worth it, I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than go through the emotional drain ever again. Self respect and dignity are worth more to me now than the false validation a man's wanting to bed me.
Actions do speak louder than words, but guys say and do and promise anything to get into a woman's pants so she really has no guarantee that he'll bolt unless she gets to know him as a person as best she can. |
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kesh1985
Joined: 24 Apr 2009
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 3:39 pm Post subject: what about virgins?? |
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there are some virgins out there, not for religious reasons, just by chance. how long should they wait to pursue a sexual relationship? i mean i think 6 mths or longer is a reasonable time but what if a girl never had a relationship with any guy? should she wait 6 mths or longer or just give it up?
I think that if a girl who is a virgin have all the means to wait as long as she intend to, not to punish the guy but make sure she makin a right step because after losing your virginity, you fall hard for the guy.   |
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gingersnapd
Joined: 08 May 2007
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:07 pm Post subject: |
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| queue1114 wrote: | I see what the uproar is about. If a girl can hold off and make me wait 6 months, then it tells me she's not that into me. If the girl is not burning passionately for me, I can assure you that (at least for me), it's a huge turn off, and IF I was to wait it out (and that's a huge IF), I would probably be so turned off by that time, that things wouldn't work out so well anyway.
Now, I don't necessarily say she has to have sex on the first date, but if by the 5th date, she is still cool about having sex, then I know she isn't that into me, regardless of what she might say. Just as many women say, action speaks louder than words. |
I don't know about other women, but I NEVER date a guy that I don't eventually want to have sex with. Sex is a very important part of a relationship for me, and the physical chemistry absolutely has to be there. If the physical chemistry isn't there at the beginning, it's a pretty safe bet that it's not going to develop over time. Just speaking from my own experience here. But I got tired of " burning passionately" for someone, having sex and developing feelings for the guy around that, and then having him dump me, proving that sex was all he was interested in, not me. And I find it interesting that having to wait for sex would be a turnoff for you...if you're really into someone, and I mean genuinely liking her personality, wanting to spend time with her, and all those other things that have nothing to do with sex, then when you DO get naked together, it should be an huge turnon. But if a girl is still hesitant about sex with you after what you feel to be a reasonable amount of dates, talk to her about it....find out what her reasons are. Don't just assume she's not into you physically...there could be all kinds of issues that she's concerned about. And the only way you're going to find out is if you ask her. |
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queue1114
Joined: 09 Feb 2009
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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| gingersnapd wrote: | | queue1114 wrote: | I see what the uproar is about. If a girl can hold off and make me wait 6 months, then it tells me she's not that into me. If the girl is not burning passionately for me, I can assure you that (at least for me), it's a huge turn off, and IF I was to wait it out (and that's a huge IF), I would probably be so turned off by that time, that things wouldn't work out so well anyway.
Now, I don't necessarily say she has to have sex on the first date, but if by the 5th date, she is still cool about having sex, then I know she isn't that into me, regardless of what she might say. Just as many women say, action speaks louder than words. |
I don't know about other women, but I NEVER date a guy that I don't eventually want to have sex with. Sex is a very important part of a relationship for me, and the physical chemistry absolutely has to be there. If the physical chemistry isn't there at the beginning, it's a pretty safe bet that it's not going to develop over time. Just speaking from my own experience here. But I got tired of " burning passionately" for someone, having sex and developing feelings for the guy around that, and then having him dump me, proving that sex was all he was interested in, not me. And I find it interesting that having to wait for sex would be a turnoff for you...if you're really into someone, and I mean genuinely liking her personality, wanting to spend time with her, and all those other things that have nothing to do with sex, then when you DO get naked together, it should be an huge turnon. But if a girl is still hesitant about sex with you after what you feel to be a reasonable amount of dates, talk to her about it....find out what her reasons are. Don't just assume she's not into you physically...there could be all kinds of issues that she's concerned about. And the only way you're going to find out is if you ask her. |
It's a turn off, because for me, if the girl isn't passionate about me, it's a turn off. I've met too many women who treat me like a piece of furniture - like i don't exist. Believe me, it's a HUGE turnoff. |
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raven_lady
Joined: 03 Apr 2009
Posts: 53
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| Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 12:06 am Post subject: |
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| queue1114 wrote: | | gingersnapd wrote: | | queue1114 wrote: | I see what the uproar is about. If a girl can hold off and make me wait 6 months, then it tells me she's not that into me. If the girl is not burning passionately for me, I can assure you that (at least for me), it's a huge turn off, and IF I was to wait it out (and that's a huge IF), I would probably be so turned off by that time, that things wouldn't work out so well anyway.
Now, I don't necessarily say she has to have sex on the first date, but if by the 5th date, she is still cool about having sex, then I know she isn't that into me, regardless of what she might say. Just as many women say, action speaks louder than words. |
I don't know about other women, but I NEVER date a guy that I don't eventually want to have sex with. Sex is a very important part of a relationship for me, and the physical chemistry absolutely has to be there. If the physical chemistry isn't there at the beginning, it's a pretty safe bet that it's not going to develop over time. Just speaking from my own experience here. But I got tired of " burning passionately" for someone, having sex and developing feelings for the guy around that, and then having him dump me, proving that sex was all he was interested in, not me. And I find it interesting that having to wait for sex would be a turnoff for you...if you're really into someone, and I mean genuinely liking her personality, wanting to spend time with her, and all those other things that have nothing to do with sex, then when you DO get naked together, it should be an huge turnon. But if a girl is still hesitant about sex with you after what you feel to be a reasonable amount of dates, talk to her about it....find out what her reasons are. Don't just assume she's not into you physically...there could be all kinds of issues that she's concerned about. And the only way you're going to find out is if you ask her. |
It's a turn off, because for me, if the girl isn't passionate about me, it's a turn off. I've met too many women who treat me like a piece of furniture - like i don't exist. Believe me, it's a HUGE turnoff. |
Well you must be dating the wrong women. Because now if I'm into a guy and hold off for the aforementioned reasons, I don't treat him like a nonentity. Maybe you don't do the dreaded hit and run but too many guys have that how's a girl to know the guy won't ditch her once he gets what he wants too soon? Sign a legal document or something promising he won't? 
Also too, look on the other hand - it might be safe for a guy to wait as well. I know and know of guys who had sex with a woman too soon and found out she was effed up - psycho/stalker, clingy, etc. Getting to know HER maybe might have revealed some cracks in the pavement before having sex with her leading to all kinds of problems for him. |
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graverobber
Joined: 18 Sep 2009
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:44 am Post subject: |
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| Women who put too much thought into witholding sexual intimacy in a relationship are looking to set themselves up for a dominant position throughout the relationship - this is my view - whether or not they are aware of that as the cause, it is the cause. |
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gingersnapd
Joined: 08 May 2007
Posts: 33
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| Posted: Fri Sep 18, 2009 4:29 am Post subject: |
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| I'm sure this is true, if it's a case of a man who likes a woman more than she likes him. I don't know of too many men who would be inclined to wait that long for sex unless they were really emotionally invested. And you're right, a woman who would treat a guy like that, just because she knows he will put up with it, is gamey and should be dropped like a hot rock, because she plans on playing him like a fiddle throughout any relationship they have. But any woman who has fallen prey to the hump and dump more than once or twice is going to be more cautious. The trick is figuring out which sort of woman she is. That can only happen through communication and deciding whether she is being honest with you. It's tough, because we all see and hear what we want to, not necessarily what's true. |
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