I need some major advice

DiamondWings18 · Joined: 10 Aug 2007 Posts: 0

I met this guy named Adrain on the net in January of last year (2006) and we were just friends for the longest time. He was there for me I was there for him. He was there for me when I have problems with my daughter's father and I was there for him when he lost his grandmother and we just were coo. Well when my friend and her husband started having problems I stepped in and tried to play peacemaker but I ended up getting into a whole mess of problems. So this made my friend Adrain mad and I decided to leave my friend and her husband to sort out their problems that was in July of last year. So in August of that year after a month of dating we got engaged. In September I found out that I was pregnant. At that time I was happy yet confused becausae I had come out of a relationship with my daughter's father and then I had been with Adrain once or twice so I was not sure. I put the engagement on hold and we went back to being friends. In November he moves on and finds another pregnant woman and starts a relationship with some girl named Marion. All the while we're talking and texting and he never mentions her. So in January I started having some complications and I confess to him that he could be a potential father. February he's telling me that he has a gift for me. After talkin to her I found out that he gave it to her because he didn't see me on valentines day. I go on maternity leave early in March because phyiscally I couldn't work anymore and I was placed on bedrest. I finally give birth on April 6, 2007 and my daughter's father was there. Adrain gets mad because he wants to come to hospital and see me and the baby. Well I get out on easter and I let him come over and he doesn't say anything. We start texting about getting DNA tests and how much it's gonna cost and after talking to my child's father I decided that I didn't want to know. So he gets pissed and leaves crazy messages on my cell. So he asks one day if he could take her to see his mom and I was like ok. so I let him take her and they get there and they come back everything was fine. A week or so later he comes to my job with a DNA test paper and hands it to me. I was so furious that I wanted to murder him on the spot. I asked him to just leave it alone because she had a father. I understand that he had a right to know but that was uncalled for. Theres a right way and a wrong way to go about things. So after that incident we continued to talk and be friends and we started talking about dating again. But I got engaged to my children's dad and he became upset told me don't get married, I was too good for him. The whole nine. But he was never like u leave him I'll leave her. He just wanted to me to leave my guy and be miserable. I guess as payback. But I didn't. I'm saying all this because I am very happy where I am but at the same time I do wonder what if and it sucks. I guess my feelings at that time toward him were real and I could actually see myself being with him and being his wife, a part of me still wants that even after all we went through. But at the same time I am in love with the father of my two daughters. We have history, we are planning things, we are moving foward with our lives and we are happy so should I stay where I am, should I let Adrain go and stop IM and texting him or see if it could work?

LAPeep · Joined: 28 Mar 2007 Posts: 6

He did the right thing. You refused to get the paternity test. He was smart enough to figure it out on his own. He has a right to be in the life of his daughter. I'm surprised that he want anything to do with you after pulling stunts like you have. I wish I could contact him to give him a cyber-thunk on his head to get him to wake up and move on.

cautiousandwise · Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 8

Yes, you should let him go. But I will tell you this, he has EVERY right to know if he is the father of that child. You have jerked him around and played head games with 2 men for too long. Get your shit together. Find out who the REAL father is, and if it isn't adrian, change your number and don't talk to him ANYMORE!!!!

nadeanbhav · Joined: 30 Apr 2007 Posts: 0

You have a good man who is making future plans with you and your children, a man who wants to marry you. Stick with him and DONT RESPOND to the other guy. You will just screw things up for yourself, your kids and the man who cares for you! JMO

alohatraveler · Joined: 30 Mar 2007 Posts: 0

Oh dear, what to do?