Just found out he's still married! Should I tell his wife?

crossbronx · Joined: 07 Aug 2009 Posts: 6

Been with this guy for years, he goes away a lot but because he's in the military I didn't suspect anything, turned out he is still married to the woman he told me he's divorced!

I don't think she knows, should I tell her?

RedAppleSauce · Joined: 10 Aug 2009 Posts: 2

Yes! Tell her! Wouldn't you want to know about your husband lying to you? I may suck for her but that's her problem to deal with and it's clear he WILL NOT be telling her!

ddiamond2009 · Joined: 21 Aug 2009 Posts: 3

Been through it and I would have liked to known. I had to find out on my own although. I say tell her Im sure ur hurt from it and everyone needs to feel ur pain so that the (wife) will be better prepared and the CHEATING husband can learn a valuable lesson. Im sure her feelings are not more important than yours. Wink

zenmom511 · Joined: 22 Sep 2008 Posts: 1

my XH cheated on me with a skank for years... Sooooo wish I would have known sooner; I felt very stupid that he got away with it for so long. It wil hurt, but she deserves to know. (btw: I did tell the ow's husband when i found out... they were already getting divorced... she was leaving him for my (now X) husband.... gag.)

misssurvivor · Joined: 12 Sep 2009 Posts: 1

I was cheated on by Jeff Irwin of Indianpolis Indiana and stalked by (one of) his other girlfriends. I had no idea he was married he told me he wasn't living with his wife. Long story short, one of his other girlfriends was stalking his family, me, and who knows who else. I get a call from his wife and warns me but i still thought he was a good guy, until i researched him. He's on plentoffish, accesslove, yahoo, myspace other sites too under different names and tags. Tell her you will feel better and you will be able to move on.

NorthernSweetie · Joined: 25 Oct 2009 Posts: 2

I literally got out of a situation like that. YES, tell her. How do you know if you are the only one? I found my situation was three woman, me and his wife. I dont know he handled all of us but recently I helped to bust him. When I told her I cried but I was so upset on how stupid I was and the stuff I told her I know hurt her. I did not intend to hurt her. I am now doing everything possible to help her. I owe her that.

jbearsie · Joined: 31 Oct 2009 Posts: 1

ABSOLUTELY... I recently caught my husband red handed... his cell phone was in my name and there were all of these txts and phone calls to numbers that were not familiar so I called one of them and guess what she knew he was married and was pursuing a relationship with him anyways because apparently my husband is so easy to talk too... well maybe if your not married to him! ! Anyways the wife deserves to know what she does with the information is ultimately up to her. Would you want to have your husband in your bed every night not knowing where and with whom he has been?

bea67 · Joined: 02 Nov 2009 Posts: 1

She needs to know what the SOB is doing.

notbitterbutmad · Joined: 07 Nov 2009 Posts: 1

Sing like a bird girlfriend!!!!

TheOtherWomanUK · Joined: 11 Nov 2009 Posts: 1

Yes definitely tell her... I was dating a guy for almost 10 months who was also working away a lot in Iraq. He would spend fridays and weekends with me so i didn't suspect anything at first but then after a few months I questioned why I hadn't ever been invited back to his home or his hometown in London. He got defensive and angry and told me I had trust issues. It turned out that he was actuallly with a partner who had a 5 year old son and 2 other children. I found this out after I received a random phone call from his partner who wanted to know who I was as my number kept appearing on a mobile phone bill that she never knew about. Game Over!! we plotted to bring him down... Cut a long story short... she backed out.. I named and shamed him, dumped him told him never to call me again and that KARMA would deal with him. She still kept him. Then eventually almost a year later he had the cheek to send me a random text asking to meet for a coffee and a chat as he was now single. I told him to get lost (in not so many words) but made sure I had the last word in that KARMA WASN'T FUSSY WHO IT RETURNS TO!!..

So... if I were you... yes most definitely tell her as either way you've nothing to lose and a lot more to gain...YOUR PRIDE!!

MamaCakes · Joined: 15 Nov 2009 Posts: 1

I just caught my husband a few short months ago....wished i would have known sooner. As stated above..."Sing like a bird" LOL

MovingOn2009 · Joined: 29 Dec 2008 Posts: 20

My met my ex on a website. Steve said he wanted to date again, because his divorce was being finalized in a few weeks. After knowing me he said that he loved me and was crazy about me and wanted to pursue a relationship. One Friday night, I happened to google his username "Stratsteve". I found his picture and profiles on two gay men's websites. Also discovered a longtime girlfriend who lived in another state. They had a picture showing themselves with no clothes, on her MySpace.
I also googled his real name and discovered a wife. His wife Kimberly, has a high profile position with the Boeing Company. Steve also has a high profile title, Vice President of his company's IT department (Cymetrix Corporation, Irvine, CA). I did call his wife. She seemed not upset. Her words were "how did you find me and when did he have time to date you". Later, I came to a conclusion that she knows he is gay.

Read my blog that his attorney unsuccessfully could not shut down:
www.moveontowhere.blogspot.com

*StarrStorm* · Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 1

Yes, tell her. Please. If she stays with him that's her business.

tampa_girl · Joined: 15 Feb 2010 Posts: 17

leave her alone, she probably already knows about you. why don't you just move on with your life? you are only making things worse for yourself..... MOVE ON... jees

MovingOn2009 · Joined: 29 Dec 2008 Posts: 20