Need Advice

ztagyrl · Joined: 16 Aug 2007 Posts: 0

My husband and I have been married for 2 years and have a 1 1/2 year old. We've been together for 5 years. He has from the beginning told me he wants me to loose weight and that one day he will have made me into the ""Perfect Wife"". I have tried everything to loose weight. It's very hard for me but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep my man happy. I love him with all my heart. My dilema is that he puts profiles on websites for sexual affairs stating that he's divorced. He messages women and solicits them for sex. When confronted about this he says he's done nothing wrong and that it's not cheating. I feel it is. Some days he says he doesn't want to be with me and others I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. We've been close to divorce a few times in the past year. We always manage to work it out ""temporarily"", until the next ""crisis"" comes along and it's always all my fault. Should I stay with this man that I am in love with? There are many more circumstances that I just don't have the time or energy to go into here, but this is my main concern...the internet thing. How would you feel and guys why would you do this to your wife?

belfunk · Joined: 16 Aug 2007 Posts: 0

I'm going to keep it really, really simple. You should not stay with him. You love him, what he loves about you is that you will take his abuse. Get out now.

cautiousandwise · Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 8

I agree. Keep it simple. Leave. This is emotional and mental abuse. He is searching for affairs online, lying online, etc. LEAVE NOW!!! Don't use your child as an excuse to tolerate abuse. Is this the example you want set for your child? Is this the kind of marriage you want your child to have?

TacoLoco · Joined: 22 Sep 2007 Posts: 0

You don't need a divorce. It wouldn't be good for you, your husband, or your child/children. Your husband obviously is looking for something, but I seriously doubt it is someone to have an affair with. If that was the case he would have just went and done it. Instead he made what he was doing so obvious that it is laughable. If you are able to talk to him about this without engaging in a fight I would encourage that. You have to understand though that he is going to assume that you are going to yell and scream and fight. You cannot let that happen. He will be on the defensive just anticipating that you are going to be upset. Tell him that you know he is looking for something, but that you doubt he actually wants to end your marriage. Divorce ruins lives, especially childrens lives. At all cost don't get upset, it only serves to separate the two of you. I would say the same to him, but I don't have the ability to communicate with him. Just know that when a man makes these things as obvious as he has, cheating or having an affair is not really what he wants to do.

ClassyLove · Joined: 09 Apr 2008 Posts: 1

:( This is not good girlfriend. Been there done that. My EX husband was on those sites looking for other things also pretending he was something he wasn't -single. I left shortly after that. Get things in order and do what you have to do. Men only treat us like we let them. Its not acceptable to do things on the internet. It is a form of cheating. Sorry thats the truth. Life is even better now. I'll have a new hubby soon. Trust and believe in yourself, you never know who will love you best if you stay where no one cherishes you. Love is so right for me and it has been for 4 years now. Let your husband know what he is doing is not acceptable and if he doesnt realize it quick he will have to suffer a great loss YOU!!!!!! And children are not a good enough reason to stay married, IF you are not happy. Now if you see signs of change and he puts a effort to make things better then thats a reason to stay married, but do not let yourself get trapped just because you have children with someone, my ex was an awful hubby but he is an excellent father!! And I wouldnt change things now for anything!

permpress · Joined: 12 Sep 2007 Posts: 2

It wouldn't matter if you were Nichole Richie's size! This is his issue, not yours. He will continue to look, explore and eventually be tempted, if not already to stray and bring home something you do not want. BELIEVE in the beauty of thy self darling. All else will come together. Now go and get a good lawyer and hide some money.