Online issues

[Femme249]

Hi,

I am new here and a friend suggested that I post my question here. I met a guy online and we know each other for a little over 15 days. Now, we should be both from very conservative backgrounds and believe in marriage.

This man from the first day showed eagerness to talk, meet and know me better. He also replied to all my questions at the time. We discussed about our marriage ideals, religion and other commun issues. He often talks to me through the website or on messenger.

He lives in another state but promised to visit and without being pushy, he is the one who pursued me. I was telling him to wait for our meeting in person but he wanted to meet early so we are supposed to meet soon in about 10 days.

He chats with me during the day when he is at work and also sometimes at night. But I have one issue with him. He gets busy and is late replying on mesg and sometimes would not get back to me. These times when he isnt back are rare but it happened a couple of time. If it was at work only, I would think he had interruption due to work and wouldnt worry. But what about night time? I am now wondering if he isnt married even though I think that would be stupid since he knows there will be a background check and that he cannot hide another woman and that he can getting nothing other than marriage with me.

However, how do I explain that a man who is supposedly so eager to meet me in person would leave me in chat like that and not send an email or anything right after to say sorry i got logged out?

Is he taking me for granted because he knows I am always there to chat with him and think we have been already chatting part of the day and so he doesnt need the usual good bye?

Is he losing interest because I am not opening up as he says and he is bored of a simple chat. He told me we need to move forward and talk on the phone so we started talking on the phone. He knows I am going slowly and I never showed myself excited to find him online or during chats. Since I am still on the matrimonial site, he may think I am talking to other men and he may as well do the same. But I personally find rude to call me by all these sweet words but drop me online like he did. He knows when he is at work I dont mind we are cut off as I am myself busy online during the day. I dont want him to know I already like him and I try to avoid to start chats and emails. He doesnt send much emails but he is the one who always starts.

Now, I am sorry to make it long and I know most of you dont believe in online stories but I am really interested in him and it is not easy for me to find the type of man I want with the religion and background I want in the streets. But he obviously has something else that is taking his attention.


Could you help me with the kind of background check I can start doing for now without having my family involved. What do you think of asking him to give me his full address, home phone and work place address. And would that help me researching him online? He lives in the US.



Thank you,


F

[FutureStar313]

I would definatly be careful around this mystery internet man. I've chatted online with men before to find out that they had girlfriends/wives etc. remember, you can be anyone online, despite who you really are. Just be careful, friend!

[4my_youthfulsoul]

Listen here "Girlfriend"....There has got to be some "6th sense" telling you that something doesn't seem right or you wouldn't be typing your story on this site! I would like you to reconsider the first reason to why you decided that RUSHING into a "serious online relationship" in the first place. At this day & age, you need to protect yourself from these so called "men" who prey on vulnerable women. If you have already given him your phone #- he already has access to TOO MUCH INFO. A background check is a GREAT idea if you that the info he gives you really belongs to him! Have you read the book " To Catch a Predator" by Chris Hansen? Well, it's not only a book for parents to protect their kids...it's a book to inform everyone who uses the internet on how to keep themselves from being victimized by the VULTURES who use the internet to find their next PREY! Please be careful and think about what you might be inviting this STRANGER to do....
Keep us posted on what you decided to do, OK?

[JustJoy]

First of all, I had an online relationship that lasted for a year and a half and we still had never met.

You've only known this man for 15 days. That is barely enough time to get a full grasp of him.
And he's married?
AND he's pressuring you to meet him?

I say drop him.

[Guitarista]

If this guy is on the up-and-up, he should have NO problem with giving you his full name, address, place of work and phone.

If he does not give you all of those things with both hands open, then if I were you, I would not give him the time of day.

In fact, I am concerned that he has not given them to you by now, without your having to ask.