please help this confused virgin:P

[lady_jane]

I have got a small problem about my relationship. I'm 18 and I met my boyfriend about 6 months ago. he's 18 too. Our relationship is great, everything is all right. He's ready to make love with me. But I'm not sure about this. I'm a virgin and I'm afraid to make a mistake or I dont want to lose him. I explained him about my fears, he behaved in a gently way. But I know I hurted him. I think he's disappointed. Maybe he thinks I dont trust in him. but it's not true. I love him very much, I trust him. just I'm afraid to go wrong. What should I do about this? Should I make love with him?

[boszybitch]

Me personally I think that u shouldnt do anything with a guy to make them happy! its all about how u feel and what makes you happy right? u want to wait til that special moment to make love to the person that u love, where u could remember it and cherish it! if u feel pressured or rushed then the time isnt right! you will know when its right! good luck!

[rosebuttons]

Dont have sex with your boyfriend because he wants too. You have to wait until your ready. If he is making you feel guilty about it then he is not respecting your wishes.

[MissPrissy7]

I agree with the other 2 replies wait until YOU’RE ready to loose YOUR virginity… it’s a huge step and you’re very smart for thinking it through like this. It’s very natural to have doubts and feel vulnerably when it comes to sex with some1 for the 1st time; hopefully he will understand and is willing to wait until you’re ready. If he isn’t then he wasn’t worth it and its his lost not yours.

[darksupanova]

Everyone else is absolutely right i'm 18 as well and i lost my virginity a while back but it was the worst decision i've made in my entire life. Which is exactly why you should wait until you are ready... Most guys like to put on a stupid little facade so BE CAREFUL! When you give your virginity away you give away a LARGE portion of who you are as well....A LARGE PORTION

[brichelle]

i'm 17,and i DIDN'T wait until i was ready. it's not that i lost it to a TERRIBLE guy,or that i didn't love him,because i did. but i wish i was still a virgin.. you should make up your OWN mind. don't let yourself feel pressured in ANY way. if he loves you,like you feel he does,he won't mind waiting. and if you do lose him because you won't have sex with him,it wasn't meant to be,and it's HIS loss. after all,giving up your virginity,is literally giving up a HUGE part of yourself,and you can NEVER get that back. and like i said,speaking as a non-virgin,i advise you to wait until you KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT you are truly ready. good luck,girl. [/b]

[j pierre]

giving up your virginity,is literally giving up a HUGE part of yourself,and you can NEVER get that back


what are you people from the church or promoting abstinence?
why is virginity A BIG PART OF ONE'S LIFE ???

fine im not saying you should go around fuck anyone....its ok to have sex wtih someone ONLY when you have an emotional attachment but why do you place so much emphasis on virginity?

us guys dont do that.

you women are inhibiting yourselves by making virginity a big issue and a big step in your life.

the concept of female virginity was a product of patriarchical society that was supposed to suppress female sexuality. and then the feminists would oppose that not knowing that women themselves help to propagate this virginity thing.

and then you would also complain "why do some guys like virgins"

[MissPrissy7]

“us guys dont do that.”


EXACTLY and us girls do It’s not about suppressing female sexuality or promoting abstinence. It’s about protecting your feelings and putting ones self first and not the demands or wants of your boyfriend/a man. This girl maybe 18 but she’s still a TEEN And if she hasn’t had sex yet and is having doubts about what to do maybe she's not emotionally ready for a sexual relationship.

I have yet to meet a guy who said “I wish a didn’t give her my virginity” or “I wasn’t ready yet” Men and Women are different creatures! We are more emotional and tend to get easily attached when sex is involved and men on the other hand can get it in for the 1st time & could careless if the girl never calls him again. Not all men in women fall in these categories but MOST

So let me ask you this Mr. j pierre,

What if your 18 year daughter was contemplating having sex for the 1st time but wasn’t quite sure. Would you say “Go for it! Its just sex! Be FREE!” Or would you encourage her to WAIT until she was emotionally ready to handle all the things that come with a sexual relationship

I’m pretty sure I know your answer.

[courtneyiscool]

reason women value their virginity is because it's an intimate part of themselves that if they share it with a man, they don't want to end up just another notch on his bed post.

It's a gift that women guard well because when they do lose it, they don't want it to be with a guy like some of the guys profiled on DDHG.

You can't just tell your 17-year old that it's just sex, or that it doesn't really matter.

[ab11cd33]

Let me give my male perspective here, and forgive me if this offends anyone here.

First don't have sex just because he wants it. A relationship is about sharing. If you really do want to have sex and you are just afraid of what will happen you have already taken the first good step and let him know how you feel. I can't speak for the other half here and I know a male perspective is far different from a female perspective, but the first time should be special and will be a little strange. Take it slow, I have never met anyone who said they wished they had sex earlier in a relationship. In my opinion it shouldn't be that he is having sex with you or you are having sex with him, you should be having sex together, it should be something you both want.

Remember you can stop at anytime if it isn't what you want, and he has to respect your wishes, just as you must respect his if he decides to stop. You are still young and I admire your caution on this subject, your risk is much greater than his. If you and him decide to share yourselves with each other (that sounded a little dirty), make sure he is wearing protection.

[CumDumpster]

[fapalot]

get laid already. it's not like you two are gonna spend the rest of your lives together. pop your cherry and take it from there.

[mmonty]

Don't do it! And don't let him make you feel guilty about it. When you really truely are ready to have sex, you will know. And if you have any doubts about it or question yourself, it's a sign that you definitely aren't ready. Do yourself a favor and wait as long as you possibly can, to avoid regretting anything you do.

[theonlyoneleft]

even if you think you are ready, you might not be. I would say give it some time to think. This guy might not be the right guy so would you want to share it with the right guy? or someone special? I'm not telling you to wait till you're married but i want you to make the right decision. Sometimes even when you feel like you're ready, you may not be. Because when you're in love, it makes you do crazy things so even when you think you're in love and ready to give it away, make sure you know you're not gonna regret it when he breaks up with you or leaves you.

[Milysmic]

Don't take advice from someone named "cumdumpster"

Wait. When it's right you'll have no reservations about it. You've only been with him for 6 months..i made my DH wait 1 1/2 years.