TooGd4Him
Joined: 14 Oct 2009
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:22 am Post subject: What is his deal? |
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I started dating a guy, last month. He couldn't wait after our 3rd date to come to my place. We didn't have sex then...we did a few nights later, right before we were going to a family function 
(Right now he is off of work due to health reasons. He should go back next month. When he does, he will be out to sea for 4 month. He is in AA and has been for 8 years. He said if he ever had a drink for me to run as far as I could. )
This past weekend was pretty eventful, I was his date to a wedding and everyone loved me (it was an AA wedding). He only knew that I was wearing black! (I had bought a sexy dress, gotten my hair done, bought a push up bra, etc. (I looked better than the bride!) Then, when I first walked out of my bedroom in my outfit, his jaw dropped - and he said that almost considered us NOT going to the wedding, but we did. I had the best time ever! Then, when he brought me home, I was undressed within a matter of moments of walking in. He was completely ALL over me - and pleased me several times! Then, I said I wanted him inside me...he said "no" I said, “It would be a great way to end the wonderful day.” He got upset saying, “oh putting my c*ck in you will make everything perfect…please!” Note: we had only had sex the one time and it had been a week. Then, we had words; I began to cry from exhaustion and frustration, then started talking and went out to other room to talk. He went onto say that he didn’t want us based on sex, l he just enjoyed spending as much time with me as possible and loved to go out in public with me! I went on to tell him that I was completely scared of how I felt towards him – he said he understood. Long and short of it, he left after the talk. He left me a voicemail saying that he felt really proud to have me as his date and that I looked irresistible and thanked me for attending with him.
Two days later, he called and invited me to dinner at his parents’ house. All of them picked me up, his parents and I talked the whole drive over to their place (he believes in picking me up for dates).His dad said within 5 minutes of me getting in the car that I was beautiful. A bit after we get to their house, my boyfriend had to go pick some stuff for his father, he asked me to go. While we are at the store, he asked if we needed condoms. I told him, “No since we never opened the box we have.” Later, he said that he was feeling stressed the day before, he thinks that it’s because he didn’t have the release, Saturday night. Dinner went well, his parents loved me and they told me that I was the first girl that he has brought home in 20+ yrs!!! As we drove home, he said that I have officially met everyone that means a lot to him. When we got to my place, he came in and started feeling all over, etc. We ended up in the bedroom and it’s hot and heavy and I asked for him, once again, to get inside of me. He thinks about it and I mention how wonderful the weekend went. Then, he says ok and does it. Then when he finished he apologizes for not lasting longer – we had been fouling around for an hour and he was hard the whole time – I told him it wasn’t a big deal.
Before we had sex for the first time, he had asked me how many times a week would I expect sex in a marriage, I told him at least 4 times. He never said how much he would want to have it. (I love the closeness of it and it is a way to be connected.)
He also gets hard and soft -then, says it’s not going to come back. I wonder if he has a complex of some sort. He said that he really doesn’t masturbate and he hadn’t had sex in over 2 years. I hadn’t in over 2 ½ years in my last relationship. I am a divorcee with no kids.
Then, I only see him 2 nights a week. He is pretty involved in AA and goes to meetings at least 5 times a week. He calls me several times a day. He is afraid of doing what many of his friends do which is starting to date someone and dropping off of the face of the earth. Yet, he will call me in the middle of the week and say that he wishes that he could come over!!!!! If I mention seeing him any other time, he has a meeting – arrrr!
We were talking the other day and he said, “I’m married,” I replied, “you better not be.” He said, “I am to God.” (I need to ask more about his religious beliefs.) We are both Catholic. I think he is a lot more than I due to the tattoos and a necklace that he wears. He also said to me before we had sex that he doesn’t believe in abortion (religion based, I’m sure), not that I believe that it is a form of birth control. Yet, he refuses to wear a condom. When he did this the other night, I mentioned afterwards that my niece is a product of the ‘withdrawal’ method. It didn’t seem to faze him.
We met online and connected in emails, on the phone, and when we met, we clicked. We have a great time when we are together, we are always laughing!
He is not the typical type that I date, but we have so much in common. Everyone says that we look like a cute couple. When I ask how he is, he always says that he is great because he is my boyfriend. He will also say out of the blue that he feels like the luckiest man and I’ll ask why, he says because I am with him. He tells me how attractive and pretty I am all of the time.
I feel like I am getting mixed signals. All of this makes me wonder if he may be asexual, or afraid of falling into old habits that he may have had when he was using. I am having a hard time with this because I am taking it personally and I have never had a man not want to have sex. I am almost 40 and I have no clue how to react to all of this.
What do you think? Am I wrong to feel like I am getting mixed messages? Help!! |
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