Would you forgive a guy who hit you only once in a three yea

courtneyiscool · Joined: 26 Mar 2007 Posts: 229

My girlfriend is going through a situation where her guy hit her yesterday during an argument. It was like a slap across the face. He's a great guy who's never, ever done this before. They been together for a long time. She wants to forgive him, but should she? She thinks it might be the start of domestic violence.

lostinlove07 · Joined: 12 Oct 2007 Posts: 0

Absolutely not! If a man hits you once, he can hit you again. It doesn't matter if you've been together for 3 years or 3 days. No man has the right to put his hands on you for any reason. You have to realize that some women don't make it out of their first time getting hit. To God be the glory that you did. This is your time to get out of that relationship. Don't let there be a next time because God forbid if you don't make it out the

dwr3232323333333 · Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 0

(read 1st)""lostnlove07"" Help me out here. What do you mean by ""some women donâ€™t make it out of there first time getting hit""? Are you insinuating this man could murder her on a first offence/argument type thing? If so she must have done something pretty horrible to create in him the desire to kill her? Just wondering?

cautiousandwise · Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 8

I say get out as well.. And DWR, I hate to tell you, but I nag my husband. I am skilled at it and more importantly, I am RIGHT. Does he EVER hit me or even TOUCH me in anger? NO! He is a 6'6 man, and I am NEVER in fear of him hitting me, even though I nag. I got along GREAT with my parents. I still talk to my mother every day, at age 32. I had a great relationship with my father- I talked to him about everything (he has passed away). A woman nags because that is the male/female role she saw as a child. My mother nagged my father- and she was right as well. My husbands mother nagged his father... Far worse than I could ever nag my husband, which is why he thinks he has such a prize. I am MUCH easier of a nag than his mother. Other men call me a bitch, while my husband just smiles and defends me. We pick out in our mate, what we saw growing up. My mother ran the house and everyone in it, and guess what? I run MY house and everyone in it. Is it right? I don't know. Regardless, when one isn't happy, they should leave before it escalates to violence.

dwr3232323333333 · Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 0

dwr3232323333333 · Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 0

dwr3232323333333 · Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 0

dwr3232323333333 · Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 0

Other men call me a bitch,""

cautiousandwise · Joined: 10 Jul 2007 Posts: 8

DWR- it's a sin to hit other people as well. Don't quote the bible to me. I grew up in the bible belt. My husband would NEVER hit me, angry or not because he was raised to NEVER hit a woman. EVER. Not in self defense, not EVER!!! NO EXCUSES!!! My husband wasn't de-balled by his mother. The fact that my husband smiles and says 'she isn't a bitch, my mother is a bitch' doesn't tell you anything except the fact that my husband loves me. His friends call me a bitch because I don't take their shit, and I would NEVER let a man walk all over me like they do their girlfriends. Simple as that. A man calls a woman a bitch when he can't treat her like a lesser creature. So I can't be treated like a lesser creature. So what. I can live with that. No man will ever get away with hitting me, cheating on me, or being disrespectful to me. I respect my husband, and he respects me. Perhaps that is another reason he would never hit me. RESPECT!!!! Real men don't hit women. Real men don't ever allow their anger to break to the point that they don't have control over their most basic principles of their childhood. If a man doesn't respect you enough to keep his anger in check, then you shouldn't be in a relationship with him. If he lost it once, he can lose it again.

dwr3232323333333 · Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 0

dwr3232323333333 · Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 0

(Part 2)I never claimed he should hit you and you know it. Merely that a man who has the thought to hit cross his mind should not remain in a relationship with that particular person. After reading your description of yourself in recent emails and how you treat him, I would assume he has thought about it. But whether he has or not I cant say. But if he has thought about it ( while not acting) then it is perfectly normal to have thought about it! But I feel a man in this position should not leave himself in such a position but should leave and find a woman who does not make him FEEL LIKE hitting her, if in fact he does? This goes for all men. Your not worth going to jail over, I don't care how good you are in the sack, etc. There's plenty more where you came from and without the upset of remaining in such a relationship that could drive someone to their wits end then to violence! ""Wits-end"" which is what in a large degree male-bashers refer to as Domestic violence!

belladawna120 · Joined: 21 Oct 2007 Posts: 2

Male or Female doesnt matter. Any person that uses viloence to get a point across has an agrression problem and a problem with control . We all have choices .This man Chose to use his hands to smack someone he supposedly loves ? If you love someone truly love them you do not use mean words or vilonce or bullying to get ur point across in an argument there are no right and wrong sides .Everyone has a point they want to make but it is all in the approach and the attitude . Attitude is 10 percent of what people say to you no matter the tone and 90 percent of how you reqact to it .Yelling is one thing (very unnecessary in my opinion)Violence is another . Heat of the moment situations I understand ,ive been there ,but if we step back and try to think for one second where the other person might be coming from there might be a rasonable simple solution to all problems . Easier said than done ? You bet it takes practice and patience but is it not worth it to spare a person you claim to love hurt shame or anger ? My advice is to talk communicate ask why it happened ? understand the reasoning, understand the differences in peoples opinions and then you can achieve peace and harmony . Good luck Sincerely Belladawna120

mstwenty2 · Joined: 03 Feb 2008 Posts: 10

I definitely think it's not a good idea for your friend to forgive him. If she does, she'll never forget that experience and everytime there's an argument, she'll think of that night and worry if it will happen again. Even if it happened once and they were together for years, there's no reason why he cant talk through his problems instead of using his hands to express his anger. I know your friend has to make up her own mind, but I think you should read these replies to her and give her something to think about. Good Luck!