Ask Average Guy: Does Sex Equal Love in a Guy's Mind?
Women often confuse sex with love. Guys don't. We know that sex is just a physical act that we don't tie to love. We tie it to sexual release. But women can sometimes mistake sex with a guy and think it means love with a guy.
Here's what I helped one confused DDHG member -
I have been having sex with a guy for about 4 months. He has liked me for over a year and has tried everything to get us to hang out or go do something together but it was always me that was busy or just said no. I think I was just not ready to date anyone or just not him because I didn't like him that way.
I finally started liking him and he invited me over to see his new place and to watch a few movies with him and his housemate. A few weeks later we hooked up and had sex. We were both pretty drunk so it just happened. After that we were just having sex every now and then, usually when we were drunk. After one drunken Friday night I was telling him that I really liked him and wanted to date him again. He replied with the same comment. He told me that he was really scared and wanted to take things really slow. Then on the next Monday, he was in a relationship with someone completely different. It completely ripped me apart, especially since I had sex with him 3 days earlier. I have asked all my friends and they said I can do so much better than him. He also still wants to be friends and he has told me that he's still a nice guy. Tell me what you think. – Cassandra
Dear Cassandra,
First and foremost, you need to stop having drunken sex with guys who are simply using you to get it. This guy was just telling you what you wanted to hear one "drunken Friday night" to get you to have sex with him. He had no intention of committing to you. You can't base a relationship on someone you really like when you're drunk. Cut off all contact with this guy and move on. He's not a nice guy and you shouldn't be talking to him. - The Average Guy
Here's what I helped one confused DDHG member -
I have been having sex with a guy for about 4 months. He has liked me for over a year and has tried everything to get us to hang out or go do something together but it was always me that was busy or just said no. I think I was just not ready to date anyone or just not him because I didn't like him that way.
I finally started liking him and he invited me over to see his new place and to watch a few movies with him and his housemate. A few weeks later we hooked up and had sex. We were both pretty drunk so it just happened. After that we were just having sex every now and then, usually when we were drunk. After one drunken Friday night I was telling him that I really liked him and wanted to date him again. He replied with the same comment. He told me that he was really scared and wanted to take things really slow. Then on the next Monday, he was in a relationship with someone completely different. It completely ripped me apart, especially since I had sex with him 3 days earlier. I have asked all my friends and they said I can do so much better than him. He also still wants to be friends and he has told me that he's still a nice guy. Tell me what you think. – Cassandra
Dear Cassandra,
First and foremost, you need to stop having drunken sex with guys who are simply using you to get it. This guy was just telling you what you wanted to hear one "drunken Friday night" to get you to have sex with him. He had no intention of committing to you. You can't base a relationship on someone you really like when you're drunk. Cut off all contact with this guy and move on. He's not a nice guy and you shouldn't be talking to him. - The Average Guy
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