Ask Average Guy: I'm in Love With an Addict
Ask Average Guy
Dear Average Guy:
I recently was broken up with after being in a relationship for 6 months with what I thought was someone I had a future with. When I initially started dating him he failed to mention to me that he was going to file for bankruptcy and he also had a cocaine habit. I picked up on the excessive drinking myself...When this all came to light I made the choice to stick it out for a while and see how it went. Feelings and emotions were invested at this point. For the most part things were going great. At the half way mark, about 3 months in, 1 1/2 months after I found out about the serious issues I sat down and had a talk with him about how much I care about him as well as my concerns about his lifestyle. I voiced that I did not agree with the casual drug use and the excessive drinking. I wasn't asking him to change for me, just voicing concern for someone I cared about deeply.
He expressed that he wasn't happy with his lifestyle and really wanted to make a change for the better, not because of me, but for himself. I was all for it! I was supportive, I didn't nag or pry. I trusted him fully to be honest with me, he was to my knowledge. Life was great he really made an effort to stop the drugs, tame the drinking...the money thing...well in time right. He had initiated future plans with me, gave me no reason to worry, no red flags (I have a really good intuition and pick up on signals...I'm a realistic gal). Anyway...cut to the first week of September. I hadn't heard from him via text or phone. I was starting to get a little concerned. Long story short he came over that night and ended things with me with no warning. He looked awful. He showed no emotion, no remorse, no explanation...just he wanted to be on his own and he needed to sort his *** out. Is it possible he relapsed and is pushing me out of his life because of the guilt?
This one really cut deep and I can't seem to just move on. Any thoughts? -- DarnedEisley
Dear DarnedEisley,
The reason he broke up with you is irrelevant. What you need to be looking at is why you are dating a guy who you need to fix. If only he wasn't a drug addict in the midst of a bankruptcy. If only he wasn't an overindulgent drinker. Well, he is and you need to stay far away from this guy. You are only inviting trouble into your life. If you're a realistic gal who picks up on the signs, heed the very obvious ones he's given you so far. - The Average Guy
Got advice for DarnedEisley? Share it here - http://dontdatehimgirl.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3780#22753
Dear Average Guy:
I recently was broken up with after being in a relationship for 6 months with what I thought was someone I had a future with. When I initially started dating him he failed to mention to me that he was going to file for bankruptcy and he also had a cocaine habit. I picked up on the excessive drinking myself...When this all came to light I made the choice to stick it out for a while and see how it went. Feelings and emotions were invested at this point. For the most part things were going great. At the half way mark, about 3 months in, 1 1/2 months after I found out about the serious issues I sat down and had a talk with him about how much I care about him as well as my concerns about his lifestyle. I voiced that I did not agree with the casual drug use and the excessive drinking. I wasn't asking him to change for me, just voicing concern for someone I cared about deeply.
He expressed that he wasn't happy with his lifestyle and really wanted to make a change for the better, not because of me, but for himself. I was all for it! I was supportive, I didn't nag or pry. I trusted him fully to be honest with me, he was to my knowledge. Life was great he really made an effort to stop the drugs, tame the drinking...the money thing...well in time right. He had initiated future plans with me, gave me no reason to worry, no red flags (I have a really good intuition and pick up on signals...I'm a realistic gal). Anyway...cut to the first week of September. I hadn't heard from him via text or phone. I was starting to get a little concerned. Long story short he came over that night and ended things with me with no warning. He looked awful. He showed no emotion, no remorse, no explanation...just he wanted to be on his own and he needed to sort his *** out. Is it possible he relapsed and is pushing me out of his life because of the guilt?
This one really cut deep and I can't seem to just move on. Any thoughts? -- DarnedEisley
Dear DarnedEisley,
The reason he broke up with you is irrelevant. What you need to be looking at is why you are dating a guy who you need to fix. If only he wasn't a drug addict in the midst of a bankruptcy. If only he wasn't an overindulgent drinker. Well, he is and you need to stay far away from this guy. You are only inviting trouble into your life. If you're a realistic gal who picks up on the signs, heed the very obvious ones he's given you so far. - The Average Guy
Got advice for DarnedEisley? Share it here - http://dontdatehimgirl.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3780#22753
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