Dating a Guy Who Lives With His Mom? A Big Red Flag?
For a lot of reasons, it is not a good idea to date a guy who lives with his mother. You need a man who can stand on his own two feet to be your partner. You definitely do not want to share him with dear old mom. Save yourself a lot of trouble by refusing to date men who live with their mothers. He should be out of the house and successful on his own for at least a year before you consider dating him.
What about a man who has his grown kids living with him? You might not think this is a big red flag, but think again. A man who lets his grown kids live with him and supports them is one of the worse guys to be in a relationship with.
If a grown kid lives with dad, then dad is probably supporting him. These kids are often drug abusers, have been arrested, and are not in treatment or therapy. They often do not have a job, can't hang on to a job, and don't go to school, either. These kids are miserable. Trying to be their friend is a waste of time. They often throw temper tantrums and will do everything they can to break you two up.
Dating a guy who supports his grown kids is a miserable experience. It is one of those warning signs that spells big trouble down the road. A man who lets his grown kids live with him will put them first. You will always be second in the relationship. This is true for a lot of reasons. First, he is supporting them, so he cannot back down and say he made a mistake.
He will constantly justify why he is supporting them and why they need him to support them. If he pays all of the bills and does not require them to help with the bills and costs of food, then he has major problems with boundaries. They are not learning to stand on their own two feet, and they never will, with dear old dad paying their way. If you become part of a couple, the kids will walk all over you, too.
If he does not require them to do any housework or chores, along with not paying any bills, that spells double trouble. As a grown woman, you will end up waiting on and picking up after his grown kids. If he lets them throw their things all over the house, sleep on the couch, interrupt your conversations, throw fits, yell and scream and fight, then get out. This will always be a negative relationship. He will never be a complete partner to you.
He will always be tied up in supporting his children. It is likely that he will be an old man, still paying their bills and bailing them out of jail, when they are 40 and he is 70 years old. Is that the kind of relationship you want?
I have a friend whose grown daughter was just arrested for possession of Methamphetamine, LSD, Ecstasy, Valium and drug paraphernalia. Of course, she called dad to pay her bail and get her out. She didn't even say I'm sorry, or thank you. She just demanded he get the money and "lend" it to her. I asked him why he would bail her out again, which he has always done. This girl is a nightmare of mental illness, criminal history, drug abuse, and she destroys everything in her path.
Why he would bail her out again is beyond everyones' comprehension. His answer was that he had to hurry up and get her out so she could go to "Burning Man," a big camping festival of hippies, drugs, hedonism, and lame wannabe artists who get together once a year to run around in the woods. This grown man has been supporting this grown daughter for years. While she should be in drug rehab, he is getting her out of jail, for four felonies and a misdemeanor, so she can go to Burning Man. True story. Is this the kind of relationship you would want?
If a man is supporting and bailing out his grown kids, take that as a big red warning sign. Do not date him in the first place. Like dear old mom, make sure the kids have been gone a year and are staying out of his house before you consider him to be a great date and possible mate.
Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor
KerryLGray@gmail.com
What about a man who has his grown kids living with him? You might not think this is a big red flag, but think again. A man who lets his grown kids live with him and supports them is one of the worse guys to be in a relationship with.
If a grown kid lives with dad, then dad is probably supporting him. These kids are often drug abusers, have been arrested, and are not in treatment or therapy. They often do not have a job, can't hang on to a job, and don't go to school, either. These kids are miserable. Trying to be their friend is a waste of time. They often throw temper tantrums and will do everything they can to break you two up.
Dating a guy who supports his grown kids is a miserable experience. It is one of those warning signs that spells big trouble down the road. A man who lets his grown kids live with him will put them first. You will always be second in the relationship. This is true for a lot of reasons. First, he is supporting them, so he cannot back down and say he made a mistake.
He will constantly justify why he is supporting them and why they need him to support them. If he pays all of the bills and does not require them to help with the bills and costs of food, then he has major problems with boundaries. They are not learning to stand on their own two feet, and they never will, with dear old dad paying their way. If you become part of a couple, the kids will walk all over you, too.
If he does not require them to do any housework or chores, along with not paying any bills, that spells double trouble. As a grown woman, you will end up waiting on and picking up after his grown kids. If he lets them throw their things all over the house, sleep on the couch, interrupt your conversations, throw fits, yell and scream and fight, then get out. This will always be a negative relationship. He will never be a complete partner to you.
He will always be tied up in supporting his children. It is likely that he will be an old man, still paying their bills and bailing them out of jail, when they are 40 and he is 70 years old. Is that the kind of relationship you want?
I have a friend whose grown daughter was just arrested for possession of Methamphetamine, LSD, Ecstasy, Valium and drug paraphernalia. Of course, she called dad to pay her bail and get her out. She didn't even say I'm sorry, or thank you. She just demanded he get the money and "lend" it to her. I asked him why he would bail her out again, which he has always done. This girl is a nightmare of mental illness, criminal history, drug abuse, and she destroys everything in her path.
Why he would bail her out again is beyond everyones' comprehension. His answer was that he had to hurry up and get her out so she could go to "Burning Man," a big camping festival of hippies, drugs, hedonism, and lame wannabe artists who get together once a year to run around in the woods. This grown man has been supporting this grown daughter for years. While she should be in drug rehab, he is getting her out of jail, for four felonies and a misdemeanor, so she can go to Burning Man. True story. Is this the kind of relationship you would want?
If a man is supporting and bailing out his grown kids, take that as a big red warning sign. Do not date him in the first place. Like dear old mom, make sure the kids have been gone a year and are staying out of his house before you consider him to be a great date and possible mate.
Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor
KerryLGray@gmail.com
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