Did Something Happen to You That You Can't Talk About?
We stay silent. Too often we do not talk about really bad things that we as women have lived through. Will talking about it help you?Will it help other women?
The world is full of shameful things. Some of those we experience as women every day. Bad things happen to us and we overcome them
to live a life free of that pain. Child abuse, sexual assault, rape, incest,abuse and domestic violence can touch all of us at one time or another. If we are lucky enough to never feel those pains, chances are we know someone who does.
It could be a friend, a relative, or a stranger next door. These are ordinary every day occurrences in the lives of women around the world. Why do we find it so hard to talk about what happened in our past or is happening now? Could you speak up and talk about it if something hard and awful happened to you in the future?
I know a young lady who was sexually assaulted by a relative at a young age. It happened
once but she carries the emotional scars. Her teen years were fraught with turmoil, substance
abuse, gang activity and prostitution. Now she is a young lady and has fought a big battle to heal herself. She is winning. She is in school and has set her sights forward toward a futurethat does not include jail time. What is astonishing to me is how no one ever talks about it.
Her family, friends, and especially she herself do not talk about it. The subjectis taboo. We keep these things hidden. Don't go there, society says. Just ignore it.
Silence is not the solution because it keeps hidden things that happen every day in the lives of women. I wish this young girl could walk around every day saying "I am a sexual assault survivor" to everyone she meets.
Why? If we told people what happened in our past, would these violent events happen so often? If you met a woman in the grocery store and she said "I was raped" and another said "my husband hits me every day" would these things remain hidden and not talked about? If we own the bad things and talk about the violent acts that happen to us we would find strength. They happen to so many of us.
If women stand together and tell everyone they know the terrible things that have happened to them we would find strength in community and numbers. We would not feel so alone. We would have the power to say No More Violence in the lives of women around the world.
How many women do you know who have been sexually assaulted, hit by a spouse, or traded sex for money? The numbers are staggering. The neighbor down the street, your sister, your mother,your friend -- all of these women probably have a violent incident in their past, their current daily life or waiting in their future.
How many young women in the world work in the sex trade or strip or prostitute themselves for a living? Millions. Billions. How many women do you know will admit to any of these things happening in their lives? Not many. We turn our heads and do not talk about it. That stripper is someone loved. That prostitute could be any woman except for the grace of God and some luck. The chances of a woman being raped just once is outrageously high. These sad events happen to us all.
They happen to your sisters in the global community of women.
Do you know any women who admit to stripping to earn a living? Who will talk about being raped or assaulted or working in the sex trade? Battered women traditionally will not admit it is happening. Do their families know? Not if the girl can keep it from them.
We need to talk about what is really happening across the world. Violence against women and exploitation of young girls happens all the time.
There is a global grassroots movement growing to empower young women, old women, and all women, to be the best they can be. Women are coming together to lift themselves up out of the types of oppression that have always kept women dependent on men for their survival. One way we can contribute to this movement is to tell what has happened in our lives.
Tell everyone.
If you were a stripper, say so. If you worked in the sex trade then tell everyone that it happened and talk about how it affected you. If you are being beaten at home tell people. Tell everyone your stories. Own the violence, own your past and admit your present to help guard your future.
If you do, the next young girl you know will not be afraid to speak up and tell. The code of silence surrounding the global violence against women will be broken.
Tell your story. Tell it out loud. Tell it to us and to each other. Tell it to everybody. Your story counts and it matters. Your story is our weapon and our defense and our first step toward ending these violent acts that are common occurrences in the lives of so many women around the world.
What is your story? Tell us or tell somebody. Own it. Put your name on it. Let us no longer say we want it to be confidential and keep our names hidden. Stand up and tell the world together so we can end the silent shame that generations of women have carried before us. Empower our daughters to speak up when these things happen to them.
As common as they are, these stories belong to all of us. Stand up and own your story. Put your face on it. Be counted. Break the silence.
-- Kerry Gray, KerryLGray@Gmail.com
The world is full of shameful things. Some of those we experience as women every day. Bad things happen to us and we overcome them
to live a life free of that pain. Child abuse, sexual assault, rape, incest,abuse and domestic violence can touch all of us at one time or another. If we are lucky enough to never feel those pains, chances are we know someone who does.
It could be a friend, a relative, or a stranger next door. These are ordinary every day occurrences in the lives of women around the world. Why do we find it so hard to talk about what happened in our past or is happening now? Could you speak up and talk about it if something hard and awful happened to you in the future?
I know a young lady who was sexually assaulted by a relative at a young age. It happened
once but she carries the emotional scars. Her teen years were fraught with turmoil, substance
abuse, gang activity and prostitution. Now she is a young lady and has fought a big battle to heal herself. She is winning. She is in school and has set her sights forward toward a futurethat does not include jail time. What is astonishing to me is how no one ever talks about it.
Her family, friends, and especially she herself do not talk about it. The subjectis taboo. We keep these things hidden. Don't go there, society says. Just ignore it.
Silence is not the solution because it keeps hidden things that happen every day in the lives of women. I wish this young girl could walk around every day saying "I am a sexual assault survivor" to everyone she meets.
Why? If we told people what happened in our past, would these violent events happen so often? If you met a woman in the grocery store and she said "I was raped" and another said "my husband hits me every day" would these things remain hidden and not talked about? If we own the bad things and talk about the violent acts that happen to us we would find strength. They happen to so many of us.
If women stand together and tell everyone they know the terrible things that have happened to them we would find strength in community and numbers. We would not feel so alone. We would have the power to say No More Violence in the lives of women around the world.
How many women do you know who have been sexually assaulted, hit by a spouse, or traded sex for money? The numbers are staggering. The neighbor down the street, your sister, your mother,your friend -- all of these women probably have a violent incident in their past, their current daily life or waiting in their future.
How many young women in the world work in the sex trade or strip or prostitute themselves for a living? Millions. Billions. How many women do you know will admit to any of these things happening in their lives? Not many. We turn our heads and do not talk about it. That stripper is someone loved. That prostitute could be any woman except for the grace of God and some luck. The chances of a woman being raped just once is outrageously high. These sad events happen to us all.
They happen to your sisters in the global community of women.
Do you know any women who admit to stripping to earn a living? Who will talk about being raped or assaulted or working in the sex trade? Battered women traditionally will not admit it is happening. Do their families know? Not if the girl can keep it from them.
We need to talk about what is really happening across the world. Violence against women and exploitation of young girls happens all the time.
There is a global grassroots movement growing to empower young women, old women, and all women, to be the best they can be. Women are coming together to lift themselves up out of the types of oppression that have always kept women dependent on men for their survival. One way we can contribute to this movement is to tell what has happened in our lives.
Tell everyone.
If you were a stripper, say so. If you worked in the sex trade then tell everyone that it happened and talk about how it affected you. If you are being beaten at home tell people. Tell everyone your stories. Own the violence, own your past and admit your present to help guard your future.
If you do, the next young girl you know will not be afraid to speak up and tell. The code of silence surrounding the global violence against women will be broken.
Tell your story. Tell it out loud. Tell it to us and to each other. Tell it to everybody. Your story counts and it matters. Your story is our weapon and our defense and our first step toward ending these violent acts that are common occurrences in the lives of so many women around the world.
What is your story? Tell us or tell somebody. Own it. Put your name on it. Let us no longer say we want it to be confidential and keep our names hidden. Stand up and tell the world together so we can end the silent shame that generations of women have carried before us. Empower our daughters to speak up when these things happen to them.
As common as they are, these stories belong to all of us. Stand up and own your story. Put your face on it. Be counted. Break the silence.
-- Kerry Gray, KerryLGray@Gmail.com
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