Get Back on Track With Your Man Right Now
Being "polarized" or "depolarized" is a common term for couples in counseling. It has to do with opposites being attracted to each other but later driving each other crazy. Here is an example. When you first met, you loved how he spent money freely because you were such
a spendthrift. You were attracted to his carefree attitude about money. You were happy that he didn't worry about money like you did.
You were polarized over this issue. Later on, though, his spending drives you crazy.
You feel like he is not responsible with money and he is careless and jeopardizing your financial future. As a couple, you have now become "depolarized" over money.
Another example might be raising the kids. He used to love that you wanted to be a stay at home mom and raise his kids full time. He shared your belief that this was the best way to raise a family. You were polarized over how you wanted to raise your children. Over time, however, he started to resent that you were home all day and then complained at night that he never helped you.
He wished you would understand how easy you have it, and how hard it is to work all day then come home to complaints. As a couple you have become depolarized over raising the family and working outside the home.
These are issues you can fix yourself when you recognize them. You do not have to see an expensive marriage counselor to understand being polarized in your relationship. Talk to your spouse about the things you used to love that now drive you crazy. Understand that a relationship ebbs and flows and has ups and downs. Know that if you hang tough the good times will come again. Try to see the flip side, the side you used to love about the quirky habits that now drive you nuts. You can apply basic couples' counseling theories to your relationship to help bring you two back together.
Write Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor, at KerryLGray@gmail.com, or send us a comment on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/officialdontdatehimgirl Send us a Tweet on Twitter at OfficialDDHG, and post in our forums here at Don't Date Him Girl.com. We want to be a great place for you and all your friends to visit, so let us hear from you!
a spendthrift. You were attracted to his carefree attitude about money. You were happy that he didn't worry about money like you did.
You were polarized over this issue. Later on, though, his spending drives you crazy.
You feel like he is not responsible with money and he is careless and jeopardizing your financial future. As a couple, you have now become "depolarized" over money.
Another example might be raising the kids. He used to love that you wanted to be a stay at home mom and raise his kids full time. He shared your belief that this was the best way to raise a family. You were polarized over how you wanted to raise your children. Over time, however, he started to resent that you were home all day and then complained at night that he never helped you.
He wished you would understand how easy you have it, and how hard it is to work all day then come home to complaints. As a couple you have become depolarized over raising the family and working outside the home.
These are issues you can fix yourself when you recognize them. You do not have to see an expensive marriage counselor to understand being polarized in your relationship. Talk to your spouse about the things you used to love that now drive you crazy. Understand that a relationship ebbs and flows and has ups and downs. Know that if you hang tough the good times will come again. Try to see the flip side, the side you used to love about the quirky habits that now drive you nuts. You can apply basic couples' counseling theories to your relationship to help bring you two back together.
Write Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor, at KerryLGray@gmail.com, or send us a comment on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/officialdontdatehimgirl Send us a Tweet on Twitter at OfficialDDHG, and post in our forums here at Don't Date Him Girl.com. We want to be a great place for you and all your friends to visit, so let us hear from you!
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