Guy Stuff: Do You Think Women Are Impossible to Figure Out?
Is the woman in your life impossible to figure out? Does she have you running in circles and you don't have a clue? She is not as hard to figure out as you think she is. We promise! Here are some common problems that all guys face, and we give you the answers right here.
1. How can I be a better listener? She says I don't listen to her, but she's been talking about it for an hour!
The answer is feelings. Girls want you to listen to how they feel about the problem. She does not care what the problem is. She only cares about how she feels about it. Your solution? Forget the problem. It does not matter if you had a fight, she got a flat tire or your mother is coming to dinner. What matters is how she feels about it.
Ignore the problem. Listen and repeat her feelings back to her until she believes you are listening. Then she will be ready to solve the problem.
2. What do I say when she asks me if I think another girl is hot? Why does she ask me all the time if I love her? I told her I did last week. Why does she asks me if she looks fat? Why does she ask me questions like that? I married her, didn't I?
The answer is that women often define themselves within the context of their relationship. Women are meant to nurture and support relationships. If a woman feels like her relationship is off track she finds it hard to concentrate on other matters.
A girl also has a deep desire to know that her partner finds her beautiful. Girls today compare themselves to images in magazines and on the screen, and yes, she compares herself to that hot girl on the street. She worries that if you think that girl is hot it means you no longer think she is.
The solution is to reassure her that you love her and always will, even if you do not always say it. Tell her that even if you seem distracted by work or business matters she is always the most important person in your life. Tell her that she is beautiful, always and every day. Yes, every day.
3. She complains that I do not pay enough attention to her at home. She says she does not feel close to me. She complains that I work too much, but she gets to enjoy the security that my extra paycheck brings.
How can she not feel close to me when we live in the same house and sleep in the bed? Why doesn't she see that I work hard to provide for her and how important that is to me?
The answer is that women are more concerned with emotional closeness than financial security. If she wants you at home more and is willing to cut back, then have that conversation with her and make those decisions.
Explain to her that you feel close to her when you see her warm and safe and secure within the safety of the home you provide for her. Then, go a little bit out of your way every day to connect with her even when it is not convenient to do so.
Call her from work, send her an email just to say I love you, or pick up a surprise on the way home. Show her in little ways that you think about her a lot.
Do not assume she knows that you do. Women need to be shown that they are on your mind. It might seem unreasonable, but try it and see. The attention will pay off in a deeper understanding and closeness with her that will translate into you both being happier on a daily basis.
4. I always initiate sex. Why does she never seem to take the lead? How can she say No to sex if she claims to love me and find me attractive? How can she say she doesn't feel close enough to have sex, when sex would bring us closer?
Although women often do enjoy sex quite a lot, they are not as easy to jump start as men are. Women feel like sex is an emotional expression of all their love and longing for the man they see as their partner in life. Men often view sex as simply the next best thing to do.
When it is done, then they will go do the next best thing, like maybe mow the lawn or work on the car or watch the game. Men do not understand why it has to be so hard. Women do not understand how a man can expect it to be so fast and easy to get turned on.
The solution is to warm her up with some emotional foreplay. This means give her some time for some of the things she likes, like conversation or a massage. You might help with the dishes or put the kids to bed to give her some extra time to herself to get ready. Put some thought into the preparation and you will be rewarded.
Do not expect to jump up and have sex happen within five minutes. You will both be disappointed and missing out on one of the best parts of having a relationship.
Okay, guys, there you have it -- some easy solutions to some of men's biggest mysteries, the women in their lives. When it comes down to it, girls are not so hard to figure out, after all!
Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor
For a fast and personal reply to all your love problems, write The Love Doctor at KerryLGray@gmail.com
Don't forget! Hook up with us on MySpace, or send us a Tweet on Twitter. We love to hear from our readers!
1. How can I be a better listener? She says I don't listen to her, but she's been talking about it for an hour!
The answer is feelings. Girls want you to listen to how they feel about the problem. She does not care what the problem is. She only cares about how she feels about it. Your solution? Forget the problem. It does not matter if you had a fight, she got a flat tire or your mother is coming to dinner. What matters is how she feels about it.
Ignore the problem. Listen and repeat her feelings back to her until she believes you are listening. Then she will be ready to solve the problem.
2. What do I say when she asks me if I think another girl is hot? Why does she ask me all the time if I love her? I told her I did last week. Why does she asks me if she looks fat? Why does she ask me questions like that? I married her, didn't I?
The answer is that women often define themselves within the context of their relationship. Women are meant to nurture and support relationships. If a woman feels like her relationship is off track she finds it hard to concentrate on other matters.
A girl also has a deep desire to know that her partner finds her beautiful. Girls today compare themselves to images in magazines and on the screen, and yes, she compares herself to that hot girl on the street. She worries that if you think that girl is hot it means you no longer think she is.
The solution is to reassure her that you love her and always will, even if you do not always say it. Tell her that even if you seem distracted by work or business matters she is always the most important person in your life. Tell her that she is beautiful, always and every day. Yes, every day.
3. She complains that I do not pay enough attention to her at home. She says she does not feel close to me. She complains that I work too much, but she gets to enjoy the security that my extra paycheck brings.
How can she not feel close to me when we live in the same house and sleep in the bed? Why doesn't she see that I work hard to provide for her and how important that is to me?
The answer is that women are more concerned with emotional closeness than financial security. If she wants you at home more and is willing to cut back, then have that conversation with her and make those decisions.
Explain to her that you feel close to her when you see her warm and safe and secure within the safety of the home you provide for her. Then, go a little bit out of your way every day to connect with her even when it is not convenient to do so.
Call her from work, send her an email just to say I love you, or pick up a surprise on the way home. Show her in little ways that you think about her a lot.
Do not assume she knows that you do. Women need to be shown that they are on your mind. It might seem unreasonable, but try it and see. The attention will pay off in a deeper understanding and closeness with her that will translate into you both being happier on a daily basis.
4. I always initiate sex. Why does she never seem to take the lead? How can she say No to sex if she claims to love me and find me attractive? How can she say she doesn't feel close enough to have sex, when sex would bring us closer?
Although women often do enjoy sex quite a lot, they are not as easy to jump start as men are. Women feel like sex is an emotional expression of all their love and longing for the man they see as their partner in life. Men often view sex as simply the next best thing to do.
When it is done, then they will go do the next best thing, like maybe mow the lawn or work on the car or watch the game. Men do not understand why it has to be so hard. Women do not understand how a man can expect it to be so fast and easy to get turned on.
The solution is to warm her up with some emotional foreplay. This means give her some time for some of the things she likes, like conversation or a massage. You might help with the dishes or put the kids to bed to give her some extra time to herself to get ready. Put some thought into the preparation and you will be rewarded.
Do not expect to jump up and have sex happen within five minutes. You will both be disappointed and missing out on one of the best parts of having a relationship.
Okay, guys, there you have it -- some easy solutions to some of men's biggest mysteries, the women in their lives. When it comes down to it, girls are not so hard to figure out, after all!
Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor
For a fast and personal reply to all your love problems, write The Love Doctor at KerryLGray@gmail.com
Don't forget! Hook up with us on MySpace, or send us a Tweet on Twitter. We love to hear from our readers!
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