Help! I Can't Trust My Boyfriend!
Q. Dear DDHG,
This site is soooo good! I have a huge problem and need help. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. I really love him, but our relationship started out rocky.
He cheated on me with an ex when we had been dating for about four months. I was devastated, but I decided to forgive him. The problem is I can't it out of my head. At least some time during every day, I think about what he did to me. It's terrible. Whenever we argue, it always comes up, even if it has nothing to do with the thing we're arguing over. I love him and want to move on, but can't seem to do it. Help DDHG!
A. Trusting men after you've been hurt isn't easy. There are countless books on how to gain the trust back, how to forgive, etc. As a guy, I'd say letting go of this is an inside job. You've got to decide within you that you've had enough of the anxiety and stress that comes with not trusting the man you say you love.
He cheated on you and he was wrong for that. But when you decided to forgive him and give him another chance, you were supposed to leave his indiscretions in the past. Trust me, that's what he thought was going to happen. Instead, you're still holding on it, which is ruining your relationship.
You're going to have to decide whether his behavior since you've gotten back together has warranted your trust. Has he cheated on you again? Is he a bad person? If not, give the chance you promised him or leave the relationship because you can't have a good one if you're constantly bickering about something that happened four months into your relationship. Good luck! -- The Average Guy, AverageGuy@dontdatehimgirl.com
This site is soooo good! I have a huge problem and need help. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. I really love him, but our relationship started out rocky.
He cheated on me with an ex when we had been dating for about four months. I was devastated, but I decided to forgive him. The problem is I can't it out of my head. At least some time during every day, I think about what he did to me. It's terrible. Whenever we argue, it always comes up, even if it has nothing to do with the thing we're arguing over. I love him and want to move on, but can't seem to do it. Help DDHG!
A. Trusting men after you've been hurt isn't easy. There are countless books on how to gain the trust back, how to forgive, etc. As a guy, I'd say letting go of this is an inside job. You've got to decide within you that you've had enough of the anxiety and stress that comes with not trusting the man you say you love.
He cheated on you and he was wrong for that. But when you decided to forgive him and give him another chance, you were supposed to leave his indiscretions in the past. Trust me, that's what he thought was going to happen. Instead, you're still holding on it, which is ruining your relationship.
You're going to have to decide whether his behavior since you've gotten back together has warranted your trust. Has he cheated on you again? Is he a bad person? If not, give the chance you promised him or leave the relationship because you can't have a good one if you're constantly bickering about something that happened four months into your relationship. Good luck! -- The Average Guy, AverageGuy@dontdatehimgirl.com
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