Here's the Best Relationship Tip You'll Ever Get!
When talking to someone about a problem, always separate their behavior from the person they are. Make sure they understand that you think they are the most fabulous person on earth. It is only the behavior that you have a problem with.
This works with men, with the ladies, with your parents, kids and friends. For example, your man wants to believe that you think he is SuperMan. When you criticize him, he takes it personally and it really hurts his feelings. Make sure he knows that you always think he is awesome.
You just have a teeny weeny little problem with something that he DOES, not him personally. Make sure to always repeat this until it is drilled into his head. It might take a while, and you might have to say it a lot, but he will finally start to relax when you tell him that something he does is bothering you.
He won't think it reflects on him after you make it clear that the behavior you have a problem with is not a reflection on his personal character or how you feel about him as a person.
This works with kids, too. You do want to boost their self esteem and let them know you are always proud of them and support them in their quest to become great adults. If you have to criticize something, like what they wear, where they go, or their choice of friends, make it clear that it is not them, personally, that you are criticizing.
You have a problem with a choice they are making or something they are doing, and it does not change the fact that you love them and they are perfect just like they are.
This is a great tip that will stay with you forever. Use it often. Make sure everyone you love knows that it is the behavior, not the person, that you are addressing.
Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor for Don't Date Him Girl.com
This works with men, with the ladies, with your parents, kids and friends. For example, your man wants to believe that you think he is SuperMan. When you criticize him, he takes it personally and it really hurts his feelings. Make sure he knows that you always think he is awesome.
You just have a teeny weeny little problem with something that he DOES, not him personally. Make sure to always repeat this until it is drilled into his head. It might take a while, and you might have to say it a lot, but he will finally start to relax when you tell him that something he does is bothering you.
He won't think it reflects on him after you make it clear that the behavior you have a problem with is not a reflection on his personal character or how you feel about him as a person.
This works with kids, too. You do want to boost their self esteem and let them know you are always proud of them and support them in their quest to become great adults. If you have to criticize something, like what they wear, where they go, or their choice of friends, make it clear that it is not them, personally, that you are criticizing.
You have a problem with a choice they are making or something they are doing, and it does not change the fact that you love them and they are perfect just like they are.
This is a great tip that will stay with you forever. Use it often. Make sure everyone you love knows that it is the behavior, not the person, that you are addressing.
Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor for Don't Date Him Girl.com
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