Is it Really Cheating if There's No Sex?
Q. Dear DDHG,
I'm not sure how to fix a problem that I'm having. I work almost 50 hours a week. I have a boyfriend, we live together and we've been together for about a year. Here's the problem. At my job, I have lunch almost every day with a male co-worker. There's only three of us in my department and it's hard to find other people to go to lunch with, so this guy and I almost always end up together to share a meal.
Well, one day my boyfriend walked into the restaurant where this guy and I usually go for lunch. My boyfriend was going to surprise me by bringing me lunch that day. He freaked out when he saw me with my co-worker. He says that I am cheating on him and he is pretty pissed about it.
I've never had sex with this guy. We usually just talk about work stuff, anyway, but my boyfriend doesn't care. He says he never goes to lunch with female co-workers. He wants to pack his things and leave the house. What should I do?
A. First, ask yourself why you feel the need to go to lunch every day with this guy. Sure, you're not having sex with him, but it's still cheating in your boyfriend's eyes because your behavior could lead to an emotional affair, which are sometimes even worse than sexual affairs.
If I were you, I would stop going to lunch with this guy if you value your relationship with your boyfriend. To put it into perspective, ask yourself how you would feel if he went to lunch every day with the same girl? Probably, not so good about it, right? Well, he's in the same boat. Don't ruin your relationship with your boyfriend just to share a meal with a male co-worker! -- The Average Guy, AverageGuy@DontDateHimGirl.com
I'm not sure how to fix a problem that I'm having. I work almost 50 hours a week. I have a boyfriend, we live together and we've been together for about a year. Here's the problem. At my job, I have lunch almost every day with a male co-worker. There's only three of us in my department and it's hard to find other people to go to lunch with, so this guy and I almost always end up together to share a meal.
Well, one day my boyfriend walked into the restaurant where this guy and I usually go for lunch. My boyfriend was going to surprise me by bringing me lunch that day. He freaked out when he saw me with my co-worker. He says that I am cheating on him and he is pretty pissed about it.
I've never had sex with this guy. We usually just talk about work stuff, anyway, but my boyfriend doesn't care. He says he never goes to lunch with female co-workers. He wants to pack his things and leave the house. What should I do?
A. First, ask yourself why you feel the need to go to lunch every day with this guy. Sure, you're not having sex with him, but it's still cheating in your boyfriend's eyes because your behavior could lead to an emotional affair, which are sometimes even worse than sexual affairs.
If I were you, I would stop going to lunch with this guy if you value your relationship with your boyfriend. To put it into perspective, ask yourself how you would feel if he went to lunch every day with the same girl? Probably, not so good about it, right? Well, he's in the same boat. Don't ruin your relationship with your boyfriend just to share a meal with a male co-worker! -- The Average Guy, AverageGuy@DontDateHimGirl.com
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