What About When Women Cheat?
Q. Dear Alison,
I am so ashamed to say that I cheated! Yes, we women do it, too. I thought it would make me feel better when my guy is totally neglecting me, but I feel worse. I feel guilty and it's probably well-deserved.
So I know what I did wrong, so please don't send anything negative. I just want to know what can I do to fix things with us, I'm trying to talk to him and he refuses to talk with me. I love him so much and I know he loves me it's just that he has not been affectionate with me since we lost a baby a few weeks ago. And all I'm longing for is to be held and just feel connected to him. He is keeping his affection from me, and I went in search of it instead of waiting on him. Arrgghhh! I'm so confused and frustrated and angry and I feel so alone. Please, no bashing I really need some help right now. Thanks!
A. I am sorry to hear about your loss. It is very common for men to have trouble handling a miscarriage. They go through a variety of mixed emotions. They want to help the woman they love but they feel helpless. They don't know what to say or do and sometimes they even feel guilty. His detached reaction after you lost the baby was probably his way of coping with the variety of unfamiliar emotions he was experiencing.
If you are truly sorry and you truly love him, continue to let him know how sorry you are and that you will never do it again. Do not tell him you cheated on him because he was not affectionate. That comment makes it sound as if you are blaming him for your mistake when in reality you made a choice. If he loves you he will eventually forgive you, but it might take him some time and you are going to have to let him have that time. -- Alison James, www.ImproveYourAim.com
I am so ashamed to say that I cheated! Yes, we women do it, too. I thought it would make me feel better when my guy is totally neglecting me, but I feel worse. I feel guilty and it's probably well-deserved.
So I know what I did wrong, so please don't send anything negative. I just want to know what can I do to fix things with us, I'm trying to talk to him and he refuses to talk with me. I love him so much and I know he loves me it's just that he has not been affectionate with me since we lost a baby a few weeks ago. And all I'm longing for is to be held and just feel connected to him. He is keeping his affection from me, and I went in search of it instead of waiting on him. Arrgghhh! I'm so confused and frustrated and angry and I feel so alone. Please, no bashing I really need some help right now. Thanks!
A. I am sorry to hear about your loss. It is very common for men to have trouble handling a miscarriage. They go through a variety of mixed emotions. They want to help the woman they love but they feel helpless. They don't know what to say or do and sometimes they even feel guilty. His detached reaction after you lost the baby was probably his way of coping with the variety of unfamiliar emotions he was experiencing.
If you are truly sorry and you truly love him, continue to let him know how sorry you are and that you will never do it again. Do not tell him you cheated on him because he was not affectionate. That comment makes it sound as if you are blaming him for your mistake when in reality you made a choice. If he loves you he will eventually forgive you, but it might take him some time and you are going to have to let him have that time. -- Alison James, www.ImproveYourAim.com
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