What To Do If He Breaks Up With You But You Want Him Back
It is hard not to react badly when you feel that sinking feeling. He says something like
"it's not you, it's me" or "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." He might say the dreaded words "we have to talk" and then you know it is REALLY bad. Guys NEVER want to talk.
What you do in the next few minutes, days and weeks will determine if you two have a chance of getting back together or not.
First, stay cool. It is not over until you decide it is over. It is important to know that and understand it. You are the boss. It is not over until you decide. You can win anyone you want. Be cool and you can go home and plan your next move. Even though it is hard and you feel sick inside, while he is giving you his "talk" nod and agree with him. Smile, tell him you wish him the best, then walk away.
Make a fast exit, get in the car, leave the scene. Leave him standing there with his mouth hanging open because you are so cool. When he tries to follow you saying things like "wait, we can still be friends" and "I still want to hang out", just smile and say something like "oh, you funny boy, I think a clean break is for the best" and keep walking.
You do not owe him anything now, no conversation, no explanation, no nothing. Don't give it to him. Deny him all access to you when he breaks up with you.
The object is to leave him confused and wondering. Men love a puzzle, and they cannot leave it alone when they are not in control and do not know what is going on. Smile, nod, laugh, say okay and walk away fast.
From now on, do not spend time with him or even talk to him. This is a big key to saving the relationship. Men do not magically want to get back together with someone they are already spending time with and talking to.
Men equate love with longing and missing you. He cannot feel love for you if you are there and he is in this bad place about your relationship, so you must make an exit and cut off all contact. Let him feel what being alone, without you means. This is your only chance at getting him back.
Next, do not take his calls. He does not get to talk to you when he breaks up with you! You only chat with men who want to be in a relationship with you.
Do not, under any circumstances, sleep with him. When a man sleeps with you during a break up, he will lose respect for you and will not be challenged by you at all. This is the kiss of death to your future.
He will move on to someone else who presents a challenge. Be that challenge. Do not sleep with him during a breakup under any circumstances; not if you want to get him back.
Never whine, beg, moan, plead or cry. Men marry women who are strong during hard times. They pick partners with character, who take care of themselves, and who can ride out the angry waves of life.
If you beg, cry and whine, he will not pick you, so under no circumstances let him see you act like that. Save it for your girlfriends who will not tell on you, or save it for the privacy of your bedroom. Put your biggest brave smile on for him and then make a fast exit and cut off all contact.
This means also no MySpace or Facebook. If a man breaks up with you, take him down as your friend. Delete his comments and photos and wipe all traces of him off your page. You only keep men as friends who want to be in a relationship with you, right?
He blew his chance so you want no part of him. If he tries to call you on it and say you are over-reacting, just kind of laugh, smile, then make your page private. He gets to have no part of you during a breakup, including your MySpace and Facebook. (Obviously, he was looking at it if he knew you took him down, right? Or someone was spying for him.) Do not discuss it, defend it, or argue about it. Just do it.
If you take these steps and give him enough time, he will contact you. It will take about three times as long for him to contact you as it would if you were the one doing the chasing. That is, notice how many days, weeks or hours it takes with no contact for you to desperately wish to speak to him.
It will take him about three times longer, and he will then contact you. If you let him go, be cool, and follow the no contact rules, you will have the best possible chance of him wanting you back. Remember, all is fair in love and war. You are the Boss, and you can win anyone you want.
Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor
KerryLGray@gmail.com
Send us an Add on MySpace, and Tweet our Twitter at OfficialDDHG
"it's not you, it's me" or "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." He might say the dreaded words "we have to talk" and then you know it is REALLY bad. Guys NEVER want to talk.
What you do in the next few minutes, days and weeks will determine if you two have a chance of getting back together or not.
First, stay cool. It is not over until you decide it is over. It is important to know that and understand it. You are the boss. It is not over until you decide. You can win anyone you want. Be cool and you can go home and plan your next move. Even though it is hard and you feel sick inside, while he is giving you his "talk" nod and agree with him. Smile, tell him you wish him the best, then walk away.
Make a fast exit, get in the car, leave the scene. Leave him standing there with his mouth hanging open because you are so cool. When he tries to follow you saying things like "wait, we can still be friends" and "I still want to hang out", just smile and say something like "oh, you funny boy, I think a clean break is for the best" and keep walking.
You do not owe him anything now, no conversation, no explanation, no nothing. Don't give it to him. Deny him all access to you when he breaks up with you.
The object is to leave him confused and wondering. Men love a puzzle, and they cannot leave it alone when they are not in control and do not know what is going on. Smile, nod, laugh, say okay and walk away fast.
From now on, do not spend time with him or even talk to him. This is a big key to saving the relationship. Men do not magically want to get back together with someone they are already spending time with and talking to.
Men equate love with longing and missing you. He cannot feel love for you if you are there and he is in this bad place about your relationship, so you must make an exit and cut off all contact. Let him feel what being alone, without you means. This is your only chance at getting him back.
Next, do not take his calls. He does not get to talk to you when he breaks up with you! You only chat with men who want to be in a relationship with you.
Do not, under any circumstances, sleep with him. When a man sleeps with you during a break up, he will lose respect for you and will not be challenged by you at all. This is the kiss of death to your future.
He will move on to someone else who presents a challenge. Be that challenge. Do not sleep with him during a breakup under any circumstances; not if you want to get him back.
Never whine, beg, moan, plead or cry. Men marry women who are strong during hard times. They pick partners with character, who take care of themselves, and who can ride out the angry waves of life.
If you beg, cry and whine, he will not pick you, so under no circumstances let him see you act like that. Save it for your girlfriends who will not tell on you, or save it for the privacy of your bedroom. Put your biggest brave smile on for him and then make a fast exit and cut off all contact.
This means also no MySpace or Facebook. If a man breaks up with you, take him down as your friend. Delete his comments and photos and wipe all traces of him off your page. You only keep men as friends who want to be in a relationship with you, right?
He blew his chance so you want no part of him. If he tries to call you on it and say you are over-reacting, just kind of laugh, smile, then make your page private. He gets to have no part of you during a breakup, including your MySpace and Facebook. (Obviously, he was looking at it if he knew you took him down, right? Or someone was spying for him.) Do not discuss it, defend it, or argue about it. Just do it.
If you take these steps and give him enough time, he will contact you. It will take about three times as long for him to contact you as it would if you were the one doing the chasing. That is, notice how many days, weeks or hours it takes with no contact for you to desperately wish to speak to him.
It will take him about three times longer, and he will then contact you. If you let him go, be cool, and follow the no contact rules, you will have the best possible chance of him wanting you back. Remember, all is fair in love and war. You are the Boss, and you can win anyone you want.
Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor
KerryLGray@gmail.com
Send us an Add on MySpace, and Tweet our Twitter at OfficialDDHG
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