Why Men Hog the Remote Control (And What You Can Do About It)
Why is it that men always want this thing in their hand? Some say it is like driving a car. Men always want to steer and be in the drivers seat. Some say it is an extension of themselves and they like to have a handle on it. Other say it is one way men control their environment in a world of housework. Men do like to hold certain things in their hand and push the buttons.
If you are a woman who asks patiently for your man to hand it over because it is time for your program and a channel change, be prepared to wait. Your man will stall for time and then play an endless game of cat and mouse. He struggles in the very core of his being over giving it up. Time will stand still as he tries to figure out a way to keep from handing you the remote.
He will wait, change the subject, twirl it in the air, and then throw it up in the air and miss it, hoping it comes down in some hidden place you cannot see. If he waits long enough maybe you will forget you asked for it in the first place. He might attempt to make out with you even after twenty years of marriage all in the hopes that you will forget you told him to hand it over.
Studies show that men drive the remote control the majority of the time. We knew that. The question is why? Men like to skip around, never staying in one place for too long. Channel surfing, a short attention span, and advertising avoidance all drive men to hog the remote control. One male friend told me the real truth. All men surf only because they are looking for boobies.
Researchers say it comes from the olden days of television. Before digital and cable, we had broadcast channels. A clear picture depended on the ability to fine tune a variety of knobs while adjusting the TV antenna and propping it up just so. This job almost always belonged to Dad. He could fine tune the knobs and antenna in such a combination that he expected applause when the picture finally came in clear.
Woe to the child who accidentally knocked the antenna out of place. His punishment was a stern lecture and then twenty minutes of watching Dad's butt re tune the knobs and prop the antenna up until the perfect picture came in again. The kid then got a scowl and a frown from Dad as he sat on the couch in misery under Mom's beaming approval and lack of desire to interfere with dad's parental guidance. The kid could finally go play again when Dad's attention was caught up by something new on the TV. Boobies?
One clever trick women have developed for this situation is to wait until the man leaves the room and then change the channel. Some will then hide the remote to stall for time. "You can change the channel if you want, honey buns" she sweetly says when he comes back in the room. This works because men never know when to get mad or get happy.
He could be mad that she changed it or happy that she offered to let him change it back to something he thought he already had in the first place. Bait and switch.
What is the best solution to this age old battle between the sexes?
The answer is simple: a decoy remote control. This always works. Men seem to be happy just holding it in their hand, even if it does not seem to do anything. The decoy remote even comes with a bonus prize. Your man gets to go hunt for new batteries while you give him the applause he deserves.
Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor
If you are a woman who asks patiently for your man to hand it over because it is time for your program and a channel change, be prepared to wait. Your man will stall for time and then play an endless game of cat and mouse. He struggles in the very core of his being over giving it up. Time will stand still as he tries to figure out a way to keep from handing you the remote.
He will wait, change the subject, twirl it in the air, and then throw it up in the air and miss it, hoping it comes down in some hidden place you cannot see. If he waits long enough maybe you will forget you asked for it in the first place. He might attempt to make out with you even after twenty years of marriage all in the hopes that you will forget you told him to hand it over.
Studies show that men drive the remote control the majority of the time. We knew that. The question is why? Men like to skip around, never staying in one place for too long. Channel surfing, a short attention span, and advertising avoidance all drive men to hog the remote control. One male friend told me the real truth. All men surf only because they are looking for boobies.
Researchers say it comes from the olden days of television. Before digital and cable, we had broadcast channels. A clear picture depended on the ability to fine tune a variety of knobs while adjusting the TV antenna and propping it up just so. This job almost always belonged to Dad. He could fine tune the knobs and antenna in such a combination that he expected applause when the picture finally came in clear.
Woe to the child who accidentally knocked the antenna out of place. His punishment was a stern lecture and then twenty minutes of watching Dad's butt re tune the knobs and prop the antenna up until the perfect picture came in again. The kid then got a scowl and a frown from Dad as he sat on the couch in misery under Mom's beaming approval and lack of desire to interfere with dad's parental guidance. The kid could finally go play again when Dad's attention was caught up by something new on the TV. Boobies?
One clever trick women have developed for this situation is to wait until the man leaves the room and then change the channel. Some will then hide the remote to stall for time. "You can change the channel if you want, honey buns" she sweetly says when he comes back in the room. This works because men never know when to get mad or get happy.
He could be mad that she changed it or happy that she offered to let him change it back to something he thought he already had in the first place. Bait and switch.
What is the best solution to this age old battle between the sexes?
The answer is simple: a decoy remote control. This always works. Men seem to be happy just holding it in their hand, even if it does not seem to do anything. The decoy remote even comes with a bonus prize. Your man gets to go hunt for new batteries while you give him the applause he deserves.
Kerry Gray, the Love Doctor
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