What's On Your Mind?
I have been with this man for a little over 5 years and we have 3 wonderful kids together, but our time is over and done with, thank God. Jay is very verbally and emotionally abusive - and for most of 2005-2006, physically abusive (even while I was pregnant), but at least that finally stopped - and I frequently get called a b!tch and a h0e and he tells me I'm stupid and weak and a coward. I have absolutely devoted myself to him and our kids and try to do everything I can for him (example: even though we're extremely poor, I saved several paychecks in a row and bought him the 52-inch HDTV that he desperately wanted for Christmas 2006 and then a state-of-the-art printer/scanner/copier/fax for Father's Day 2007, got nothing in return and very little gratitude to boot). I don't go out, rarely even talk on the phone unless it's to him, keep the house clean, singlehandedly take care of all our children with virtually NO assistance from him (which is very hard, as they are all still in diapers), give him massages and cook him dinner, give him sex whenever he wants it, day or night, try to keep myself looking good, AND work a full-time job overnight so that our kids don't have to go to daycare, although he does little to help watch them during the day so that I can get some rest. Despite this, I am criticized constantly and insulted, even when it's supposedly "constructive," and told that I can't make it on my own (I did for two years before we moved in together, so I don't see why I couldn't now) without him and that I'll probably never find anyone else because I'm overweight (I've kept on about ten pounds after our four-month-old was born) and I have three kids so nobody will want me.
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displaying 11 to 14 of 14 comments
03 February, 2008 - 19:25
this is probably none of my business but someone has got to let you know that you do not deserve to be treated this way and I know this because I was in a similar relationship and this is drilled in your head so often that you begin to believe no one will ever want you but dont-this is NOT true and just their cowardly way of admitting they cant live without you and it is them who will never amount to anyone or find someone who will put up with their crap-I'm sure you love this man, but he sounds like a loser and you need to do what is best for you and your kids-children learn by example and they do not need to learn by his examples for sure.
03 February, 2008 - 18:14
I'm so sorry hun. You really deserve better. What he is doing is emotional abuse. The guy will say everything he knows will tear down your self-esteem to make himself feel good. he'll make it seem like you can't live without him..like no one will want you..and i'll tell you from experience you need to get out. Don't let what he says bother you for one minute because none of it is true. someone will want you, and everything will be ok. But you don't see that until you walk away. I know its very hard, but it is also very worth it. and hun, gaining 10 pounds does not make you overweight. You will find the perfect guy for you regardless of your weight or how many kids you have. someone who will treat you right.
30 January, 2008 - 14:41
im am sorry for what you are going threw. but don't think for one min that being overweight is going to keep someone from liking you. there all type of men that like diffrent types of women . big or small. short or tall. smart or dumb.lol i have just gotten out of a relationship of 5 years were he loved me but didn't want my kids he was very hard on them. it took me that long for it to really sink in. that i can find a guy that will luv my kids as much as he loves me.
and i too have 3 kids and i know there is guys out there the doesn't mined it . im am 30 years old with 3 kids that had to move back in with my parent until i can get on my feet. i am some what happy. i have my kids that support me and give me the love i need. and for now my goals are to go back to school and get a job and make it on my own with my kids. and when the time comes i well find someone that i am looking for. and will never depend on a man again where when u get in a fight they tell you to get the f... out of there house. i no it's hard but only you can make it better for you and your kids. i wish you the best! you deserve better.
29 January, 2008 - 08:50
Look here Mama Bear, be easy. My real advice is keep a cool head and keep on the road you are on for NOW !! Hurry up and potty train them kids !! Noe I know this is going to sound crazy but here is part two of the plan. Damn buying him ***, save your money for real, for real !! Let your mama hold it, or put that money in a safe deposit box in the bank. Don't let him talk to you any ole way and be steady looking for an apartment, a little car and a better job ! Get a one bedroom, give the kids the room and make the livingroom your bedroom, slap up a divider and keep it moving !! Good luck with this *** !!!











